What is hyper-independence? It can be a coping mechanism that you develop as a result of not having your needs met early in life or when you experience interpersonal trauma. You may feel the need to do things yourself and won’t ask for help because you have learned that it’s not safe to depend...
Sometimes it takes more work to NOT have the conversation
Hard conversations make everyone sweat a little. Especially if there weren’t great examples for how to handle hard conversations growing up. So, because they’re unpleasant, it’s tempting to try and avoid them. But ultimately, sometimes not having the conversation requires more work than actually having it. Let’s talk about why this is true and...
Reasons Why People Don’t Change
I’m sure you’ve had the experience in your life of wishing someone would change. It can bring up a lot of anger and conflict. Maybe you’ve even felt powerless to change things for yourself. There are lots of reasons people don’t change. Let’s talk about a few to open up space and realize that...
Emotional Maturity vs Emotional Immaturity
It’s only recently that emotional maturity has been the focus of attention and this is great news. Emotional immaturity has been the cause of so much distress in our lives and relationships and now we are learning to do better. The operative word is learning! Check out some of the indicators of emotional maturity...
One of the Most Underrated Relationship Skills
Throughout your life you will connect with people you encounter at school, work, and in your personal life. As you develop relationships with different people you will need to utilize a variety of skills to maintain positive, healthy relationships that make life more enjoyable. In the age of blocking + ghosting, there is one...
The Fine Line Between Self Awareness and Intellectualization
If you’ve read self development books, been to therapy, studied psychology or follow emotional intelligence, therapy or trauma informed accounts on social media, chances are you’ve developed a good deal of self awareness about your “stuff”. We’ve all been handed experiences or circumstances in our lives that are traumatic or deeply challenging in some...
What Are Defenses? Do I use them?
If you’re human, you use defense mechanisms even though you might not consciously know it; and so does everyone you know. And when you can actually see them, your communication, problem solving skills, emotional health and relationships improve. Let’s break this down – what they are and how they work – so you can...
What is Self Abandonment?
There’s a lot of information out there about abandonment issues, but what about self abandonment? And why is self abandonment a problem? Abandonment issues are essentially the fear of being left. Usually because an important figure was not present when you were young. The way this shows up is through having an anxious attachment....
6 Ways To Cope With Parental Burnout
Parental burnout is real. And, it’s coming up a lot right now. Summer is over, kids are adjusting to the routine of being back in school, pandemic restrictions and concerns have largely been lifted… yet many parents may be finding themselves exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed and burnt out. But why??? Where are these feelings coming...
I know Fight or Flight, But What is A “Fawn” Trauma Response?
There’s a lot more information about trauma out there on social media now, which is great because it elevates collective awareness around trauma and how it impacts our daily lives. You’ve probably heard of flight or flight as responses to trauma triggers, but you may not have heard so much about what the “fawn”...