Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
Applying to college is an exciting milestone for high school students, but it’s also very stressful. Comparing different schools, writing essays, submitting applications, and waiting for decisions, can be very overwhelming. College counselors are a great resource during this time because they are able to …
The school year is usually nonstop for teens. There is so much going on with school, extracurricular activities, sports, social events and more. So there may not be a lot of time to focus on emotional well-being. But summer is usually different. There are less …
When a teen leaves home for their first year of college it is exciting, but also a little sad, for everyone in the family.
The first year brings a lot of changes and adjustments while parents learn to let go and students gain independence and begin to discover who they are outside of their family roles.
When summer arrives everyone looks forward to being back together as a family, but coming home can be a bigger adjustment and feel more difficult than leaving did.
This doesn’t mean something is wrong, it’s actually very common as the family is learning how to relate to each other in different ways.
Let’s talk about how and why this happens.
College gives young adults their first real opportunity to make continuous independent decisions. They get to decide when to eat, when to study, what to do in their free time and how to manage their responsibilities. They do all this without input or direction from their parents.
When they return home they have changed in a lot of ways and they have become accustomed to being solely responsible for what they do and when they do it.
Parents fall back into familiar routines of leading them or making decisions for them, like giving them a schedule of when to do chores, asking them where they are going when they leave the house, or questioning basic choices they make.
For the now “adult” child it can feel like they are stepping back into an earlier version of themselves and they may not want to revert back to that routine.
“The transition from college to home is more than just switching beds and addresses; it is a psychological shift that can be challenging, especially for their identity and independence.” (Golomb, Gabe. “Why Coming Home From College is not so Simple.” Behavioral Health Tech. July 24, 2025. https://www.behavioralhealthtech.com/insights/why-coming-home-from-college-is-not-so-simple)
Neither the college age child or parents’ perspective is wrong.
Parents are still responsible for running the household, so they will still have expectations. And the student has spent months building confidence and autonomy and they don’t want to lose that.
It’s important for both parents and children to understand that their expectations and opinions may not align in the beginning and everyone needs time to adjust.
Instead of assuming that one is being disrespectful or the other is being controlling, the focus is to have open conversations about responsibilities and boundaries so that the transition is smooth for the whole family.
For months, family members have spent time apart and as soon as the college student returns home everyone is immediately sharing their living spaces, eating meals together, following the same schedule and sharing responsibilities.
Even if the family is close and enjoys spending time together, this togetherness can cause tensions.
The child has become used to doing things alone or just with friends and even if they have close relationships with family members, they might still want to have some of that alone time at home.
Parents have missed their child and want things to be like they were before they left home, and if they push back from time together, they may feel their child is becoming distant.
But for the student they really just want to be treated like an adult now, and have choices about how they spend their time. It’s not that they did not miss their family, they have just learned a new way of life that gives them more space and independence.
“….many families also get along better not living under the same roof, so being around your parents or siblings 24/7 may be a breeding ground for conflict, including old recurring fights that resurface.” (Roman, Dr. Kristen. “Why Do I Feel Weird When I Come Home From College?” Elevate CBT. June 5, 2026. https://www.elevatecbt.com/blog/why-do-i-feel-weird-when-i-come-home-from-college)
When conflict comes up, it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is deteriorating, it just shows that the relationship is evolving. Parents are learning how to interact with a young adult rather than a child and that requires flexibility from everyone.
It’s helpful to not criticize one another when there are disagreements, but to take a step back and try to understand one another’s perspectives.
Sometimes it is hard to figure out how to communicate about what has changed and what the other needs to adjust to this new normal. Even though there is still love between family members, the transition can be hard because it’s easy to misunderstand what each person needs and how they are feeling.
Family therapy can be helpful because it provides a supportive space where parents and young adults can talk openly about changing expectations. A therapist can assist to improve communication, and work through conflicts that arise before they become patterns that reoccur.
Specific areas a therapist can help with include setting realistic household expectations, establishing boundaries while maintaining connection, understanding family roles, and building mutual respect.
If a college student is experiencing a lot of stress or anxiety as a result of the major changes they have been navigating at this new stage of life, it may be a good idea to participate in Individual therapy.
Since schedules are more relaxed during the summer, it’s a good time to start therapy. If started during the summer, hopefully progress can be made before everyone goes back to their normal schedules in the fall and the college student returns to school.
For both students and parents, the transition from adolescence to adulthood can be a challenge.
It’s not unusual for there to be tension or conflicts when college kids return home, it’s part of a family’s growing pains while they adapt to change.
Approaching this season with patience, honest communication, and possibly the support of a therapist, will help families build stronger, healthier relationships that continue after summer ends.
Contact us here, we’d love to support you.
When searching for a therapist a person may be overwhelmed by the number of therapy approaches there are, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), EMDR, Psychodynamic Therapy, and more. But while finding the therapy method that is right for you is important, the relationship between your …
Many people go to therapy because they want to feel better, and that is understandable. But it’s important to recognize that feeling better and getting better are not always the same thing. Let’s talk about the differences and what your expectations for therapy should be. …
Most people think healing is a journey they have to take alone. Even though it is important to self-reflect and grow personally, isolating yourself rarely allows for deep emotional healing.
As humans, it is in our nature to be relational and a lot of our struggles are caused by or experienced in relationships. So it takes new relational experiences, not isolation, to reshape the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us.
Let’s talk about why this makes sense.
The way we think, feel and respond emotionally is shaped by relationships. Our emotional foundation is created from the beginning of our lives by the way we were comforted, criticized, ignored, encouraged, or understood. Patterns are created as these experiences are repeated.
“From infancy, the brain develops in response to interactions with caregivers, learning whether the world is safe, whether needs will be met, and whether emotions are welcome. When these early relationships are inconsistent, frightening, or invalidating, the developing person adapts in order to survive.”
(Thuné-Boylehttps, Dr. Ingela. “Wounded in Relationship, Healed in Relationship: How Therapy and Human Connection Repair Relational Trauma.” ingelathuneboyle.com December 27, 2025. https://www.ingelathuneboyle.com/post/wounded-in-connection-healed-in-connection-how-relationships-and-therapy-repair-relational-trauma)
For example, if you hide your feelings, it may be that you learned to do that because you grew up feeling like your emotions were dismissed. If close relationships produce anxiety, it could be from inconsistencies you experienced or regular rejection or disappointment. Other patterns could include people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional withdrawal, and they typically develop because those responses helped you feel safe in the past.
These patterns should not be misinterpreted as personality flaws. They are developed in response to relational experiences. When reinforced over time through interactions with others, they can feel automatic and be hard to break.
You may understand why you struggle in certain areas but feel stuck and unable to react differently. Our lived experiences play a role in how our nervous system responds, it’s not just dependent on logical thinking.
Sometimes we all need alone time and it can contribute to our healing.
It gives you space to self-reflect and process emotions. But there are limits to how positive alone time can be because some emotions don’t show up until you are connecting with others.
Feelings like fear, insecurity, defensiveness, etc. appear when you are in a close relationship, so you have to put yourself in those situations to see them and address them. A relationship can activate the pattern that you need to heal.
If you are not interacting with others, there’s not really opportunities for you to be disappointed, rejected, or involved in conflict. When you isolate yourself, you are taking those triggers away so it may appear that you are healing, but that is an illusion.
Taking discomfort away does not create true healing. In order to truly heal you have to be able to face challenges within relationships and develop the ability to stay connected and emotionally stable.
Emotional regulation depends on human connection. Being a safe relationship can help calm the nervous system and build trust, which can slowly replace emotional wounds from the past.
Healing happens when we not only understand our pain, but also experience something different from what originally caused it.
Healing is possible within safe relationships, and the definition of a safe relationship is not one without conflict. What a safe relationship does look like is one that is built on consistency, emotional honesty, respect, and empathy.
Your brain and nervous system can relearn what is normal and acceptable, when it starts to experience things like patience instead of criticism, understanding instead of shame, or consistency instead of unpredictability. If you have always felt like you cannot trust others or you are not enough, these new experiences can challenge those old, negative beliefs.
As humans, we need to be able to express our emotions without fear of being abandoned, and to make mistakes without harsh judgement. This is normal in a healthy relationship.
Being independent and not needing others does not equal healing. Healing is developing the ability to securely engage in relationships as your authentic self and regulate your emotions. When emotional wounds are created within relationships, it makes sense that they also need to be healed in relationships.
“When we connect with others, something powerful happens: our experiences are reflected to us and validated. This creates emotional integration. We start to make sense of our pain instead of being defined by it.”
When you isolate yourself you may feel protected, but transformation is not happening, that happens with connection.
In the end, taking some time alone and striving to understand yourself better can be good, but that alone cannot bring healing. Relationships where you experience connections in a different way, is what it truly takes to heal. It shouldn’t be about becoming someone who no longer needs people, but becoming someone who can experience relationships with trust, authenticity, and emotional security.
And, all of this is what happens inside the therapeutic relationship. These same things: emotional withdrawl, perfectionism, people pleasing will inevitably show up in the room with your therapist and this is a good thing. Because your therapist can be the “healthy other” who can create a different relational experience than you’ve had in the past. Where you are seen and understood, supported rather than criticized. Think of therapy as the laboratory. If you can experience a different pattern in the lab, then you have the blueprint to create that very same healthy experience with others.
This is one of the main reasons Chat GPT will fall short as a therapist. There is no relationship.
We’d love to support you with this. Therapy is not just about understanding yourself, it’s about having corrective experiences that you can then bring into your life. Contact us.
It’s human nature to think that if you can just understand why you react a certain way you can stop doing it. But just because you know better doesn’t mean you won’t repeat the same emotional pattern. Just being aware of it is not enough. …
In today’s world, artificial intelligence (or AI) has made its way into most everything, even therapy. There are tools like ChatGPT that can be helpful for insight, reflection, and language. So using AI for support is not necessarily a bad thing. But there’s a point …
Therapy is easier to access than ever before using various online platforms plus virtual and in-person options. Having many options can feel overwhelming, so it’s important to choose what actually fits your needs, not just what’s convenient or popular.
So let’s break it down to help you determine which option is best for you.
There are several online therapy platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace and Rula, and they are designed to make getting started with therapy quick and easy. While offering some of the same benefits as traditional therapy, it is usually more accessible and flexible.
These platforms work by having you fill out a questionnaire about your needs, what your preferences are and the goals you have; then you are matched with a therapist. Sessions can be offered a few different ways, with the most common being through video using a platform like Zoom, or a telehealth platform that is secure.
Another method would be messaging through an app. This could be done in real time or asynchronously which is when you send a message and the therapist responds at a later time.
The pros of using online therapy platforms are quick access, how easy it is to start, flexible communication options, and lower upfront costs.
There are some limitations with this option including less control over therapist selection, higher therapist turnover / less continuity, less personalized care, and the communication can feel surface-level (especially if it’s text-based).
These platforms can be a great place to start, especially if you’re not sure about therapy or you want something that is low-commitment. But if you are looking for depth and a personal connection, it may not be what you are looking for.
Private online therapy is something that many traditional practices have begun to offer. It is therapy that is conducted virtually, but not as a part of a large platform.
This works by conducting therapy via Zoom or a secure telehealth platform, using a direct relationship with a therapist or practice (like One Heart Counseling Center). This is similar to in-person, but it’s just done virtually.
You choose the therapist (visit our Therapists page where you can see video or listen to conversation with them) or the practice can help match you based on your needs. You will be able to build an ongoing relationship with your therapist that is direct and consistent.
The benefits of this option are that it is more consistent, there is personalized care, the therapeutic relationship is stronger, there is more flexibility in approach and depth, and there is more privacy.
This option combines the convenience of virtual therapy with the quality and continuity of traditional care. For many people, this is a good balance that they are comfortable with.
In-person therapy is the traditional therapy that most people think of when they hear the word therapy – it is when you go to a therapist’s office and meet with them face-to-face.
In person therapy sessions are held in a physical office, they are scheduled in advance and always face-to-face.
This can be beneficial because you can help you feel more connected and grounded. Being in person means there is no screen fatigue or digital distractions. It’s helpful for people who prefer a physical presence or an environment outside of their home.
“In-person sessions allow therapists to read nonverbal cues that support verbal communication. Nonverbal information can help a therapist better understand your needs.” (Deering, Maura. “Online vs. In-Person Therapy: Pros, Cons, and How to Choose the Right Option.” Psychology.org. September 21, 2025.https://www.psychology.org/resources/virtual-therapy-vs-in-person/)
Some limitations include offering less flexibility (for travel, scheduling), being limited to local therapists, and it may not fit your busy schedule.
For some people, being physically present creates a deeper sense of safety and connection, so this in-person therapy makes the most sense for them.
What really contributes to positive outcomes isn’t the platform, the setting, or the techniques used. The biggest factor in change is the relationship with your therapist.
Think about these things when it comes to therapy:
Do you feel comfortable with your therapist? Even though your therapist is not your friend, you kinda have to like your therapist or resonate with their style.
Do you feel understood and safe enough to be honest?
How is the trust in the therapeutic relationship?
How is the communication: Does your therapist challenge and support you?
Are they helping you move forward and not just vent?
Does the approach work for you?
Even evidence-based methods (like CBT) aren’t effective for everyone.
The most important factor is finding a therapist with whom you can build a strong, trusting relationship, through whatever medium.
Not all therapy is created equal, even within the same modality and no therapy technique is a one-size-fits-all. What works for one person may not work for another.
The right therapy should help you change and move you forward, not just give temporary relief. If you find the right fit, it will create real progress over time.
The rise of online platforms has made therapy more accessible than ever but it’s also created some confusion about what is best.
The truth is, each option can work, it just depends on your unique needs and preferences.
What matters most is the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist and the consistency of care.
If you’re trying to decide which is best for you, look at all the options and determine where you are most likely to build a real connection and do meaningful work. That is what will help make therapy effective.
Need help making a choice about what is best for you or a loved one? Contact us, we can help!
Therapy is not just about talking, it is supposed to help you change. When therapy slips into venting may feel like it’s just a “bitch session.”