If you’re on a fertility journey and you’ve embarked on IVF, chances for perfectionism to show up are abundant.
If you’re doing IVF, you know that your mental health and your stress levels are important. AND, you also have likely read so many social media posts, books, threads in support groups or on reddit, likely listened to more anecdotal stories about “what worked” than you care to remember.
Even if you’re super emotionally aware, have self care in place… the fertility journey and all the rules add up. There’s a silent tipping point between being responsible, doing the right things and living in a box where you don’t feel free.
Don’t let your feet get cold, do seed cycling, eat for your fertility, don’t drink or eat sushi because you could be pregnant, make sure you eat organic everything, grassfed meat and wild caught fish, but not certain fish because of the mercury levels, don’t use anything plastic, including plastic baggies, make sure all your beauty and household products are non-toxic, keep track of your BBT, pee on sticks to track your ovulation, do nasal breathing to improve egg quality, take one million supplements to cover all your bases, like….
Living in that box and trying to do all the right things to give you, your baby and your family the best chance, slowly raises your stress levels. And that’s on top of appointment fatigue, scheduling trauma – because you hesitate to schedule things then have to cancel because you have an appointment, updating the people in your life, dealing with the emotional rollercoaster or every ultrasound, lab result and the emotional waves that come when things “don’t work” or you don’t see the results you’re hoping for. On top of the fear that it’ll never happen, on top of wondering why (on a soul level), you’re on this journey and what lessons you’re supposed to be learning to become the mother you want to be.
It’s a lot. And for an over achiever like you who’s used to hitting her goals, it’s so easy to slip into perfectionism when you’re simply just trying to give yourself the best chance at becoming a mom.
I have a secret for you: your story of becoming a mother is the only one there is. There’s no other one like it. Creating life in your body is a miracle. So as well meaning as everyone is (including you), the only right way is the one that is yours. And it’s so easy to get lost in all of the noise. This is why seeing a therapist that specializes in walking with women through this journey to motherhood is one of the most valuable investments that you can make. Someone who can see you, reflect back your wisdom, help you see the tipping points and process the complexity (the miracle) that’s coming through you, that’s priceless.
Because your body and being know.
Chelsea Derossi, MFT, ATR is a Certified Perinatal Mental Health Counselor and specially trained to support you. Contact us and we’ll get you in touch with Chelsea to see if it’s a good fit and how she can best support you
