Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
We have entered the holiday season and perfectionism is something that can come up now more than other times of the year, especially for perfectionists. However, you can create trust and connection without being perfect. In our last blog post we talked about the cost …
A few weeks ago, we talked about how important it is to consider the possibility that what other people do is not always about you. People are responding to you in accordance to their own past, their own assumptions and their own tendencies. This is …
Julie Simon, MFT is an Los Angeles based therapist who works with people and their relationship with food. She has written When Food is Comfort and The Emotional Eaters Repair Manual. She also runs Overeating Recovery groups and has a 12 week program that can be done in person or remotely.
While you may not be anywhere near food addiction or struggling with overeating, this is interesting information.
I’m always looking out for ways to know what our internal signals mean and this falls right in line with kind of information.
Sometimes you might not realize you are feeling depleted in a certain kind of way, but you might notice a food craving you can’t resist. It’s just more concrete. And you might find yourself acting on it.
To find out more about how you naturally best recognize your internal signals, go here. There’s some great information in that post on how to manage stress according to your personal way of operating.
Eating to balance mood-related chemicals would definitely fall under the category of behavioral cues that indicate you are feeling stress or depletion.
Knowing this information means that it comes into your conscious awareness, where you have the power to work with it. When a behavior or craving is operating outside your conscious awareness, you have little ability to change or work with it. This is one of the reasons knowledge is power!
We all know there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to productivity. But do you act on the signals your body is giving you to take a break? It’s hard to do that, isn’t it? While we all might ignore hunger, thirst …
It is that time of year. So much is going on and coming up. And, that is natural. When overwhelm hits, it feels like you need to do all the things. What actually needs to happen is taking a step back. Not much good comes …
Every human has them. No matter how much work you have done on yourself. No matter how many skills you have. Overwhelming times descend upon us all.
It could feel like anger, like panic, like fear. Any kind of intensity.
What wise decision can I make for myself right now?
In those moments, we want to fix. We want to take action. Of course. Because we want resolution for what is freaking us out.
Ultimately, in any moment of intensity, you are not operating with all your faculties. You are in the “amygdala is the boss” mode and the amygdala is a brute. The amygdala wants to fast forward everything right now.
I joke with my clients: trying to make a decision when you are this upset is like trying to make big life decisions when you are intoxicated. Would you advise that? Of course not!
The first thing to do is get into a wiser state of mind. Or find someone to guide you into a wiser state of mind and be a willing participant.
It doesn’t have to be anything big. In fact, you probably can’t do anything big. It might just be making a choice like:
I’m willing to not make big decisions right now.
I’m willing to care for myself right now.
I’m willing to choose supporting myself instead of spiraling downward.
I’m willing to take some breaths.
I’m willing to walk instead of scream.
I’m willing to listen to someone in a better head space.
Being willing goes a long way. In fact, it is one of the best predictors of successfully working through any challenge. Read more about that here.
Once you get yourself into a more balanced mental and physical space (nervous system is calmed down and not in fight or flight), you will get to your answer much faster.
Emergency actions can lead to more issues kind of like when you rush and spill your coffee, forget your phone and accidentally kick your dog.
When you are beyond stressed, there are very few self care remedies that you feel like doing. Even if they are going to do wonders for you like exercise or breathing or meditation. Honestly, when I am beyond, I could care less about what is …
Most people think of stress as a bad word. And it kind of is. No one likes feeling stressed, everyone wants to get rid of stress. I get it. But have you thought about the fact that you can actually turn the tables? It’s possible. …