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When a teen leaves home for their first year of college it is exciting, but also a little sad, for everyone in the family. The first year brings a lot of changes and adjustments while parents learn to let go and students gain independence and …
Summer is in full swing and sleepovers can become a big topic for families. So let’s talk about some things to consider before sending your kid on a sleepover, what to consider if you don’t, or they have challenges around sleepovers. Sleepovers can be beneficial …
I know it seems counter intuitive, but summer is actually the ideal time for your kids to start therapy.
When you or your kids are experiencing the stress of school, you might feel the urgency to find a therapist to help with that stress. And that’s totally valid. When the need is high, your motivation is high. But, if you think about it, the times when your kids are the most relaxed is when they are able to learn skills (that’s why learning games work so well) and open up. Same is probably true for you. If you are like so many of the families who come see us, you are the kind of person who is proactive, so you are looking for support BEFORE the crisis lands.
Let’s get into a couple more reasons why summer is a great time to start therapy:
When your kid is in therapy, it’s important that everyone in the family is supportive and involved. It’s just like having a trainer at the gym. If you just do your 1 hour training session a week and do nothing else to support that, it’s not helpful. You want to do workouts outside of your time with your trainer, you want to support your body with healthy food. That’s how you see results, right?
Same thing with therapy. If your kid is learning how to say what they feel, it’s important they practice at home with you. For you to support them as parents, you want to make sure you are available to practice with them, connect with the therapist so you know what they therapist is teaching your child.
Also, if your kid senses that family members don’t think therapy is important or they don’t prioritize attending appointments and doing the work that is involved, then they will not give 100%.
“Summer often means more family time, which can be beneficial when starting therapy. Family involvement is crucial in the therapeutic process, and having more time to participate can lead to better outcomes.”
(“Reasons It Is a Good Idea for a Child to Start Therapy in the Summer from St. Louis Therapists.” Marble Wellness. July 1, 2024. https://marblewellness.com/post/reasons-it-is-a-good-idea-for-a-child-to-start-therapy-in-the-summer-from-st-louis-therapists/)
Everyone will be learning and growing together which can strengthen your bond and improve your communication skills.
As you spend more quality time together and work towards some common goals, hopefully you will be able to see the positive impacts of participating in therapy.
Although siblings typically argue and fight year round, it can come up more during the summer because they are not getting a break from each other like they do during the school year. So starting therapy during the summer is good because the need to work through sibling conflicts will be higher.
Summer break can be an important time to work on sibling relationships, communication, problem solving, and sharing… all of which will support them socially. Problems that come up between siblings can also come up with friends and learning how to navigate these issues with siblings first can lay the groundwork on navigating issues with friends in the future.
During the school year, siblings may be at different schools and be involved in different sports and after school activities, which means they don’t spend a lot of time together. So when there is conflict between them, they don’t have adequate time to address the underlying issues or establish boundaries. During the summer, kids can learn strategies to deal with sibling conflicts in a healthy way, and they will actually have time to practice using these strategies because they are spending more time together.
It’s natural to think that a vacation or summer break will help alleviate any stress or issues that your child is having, however, sometimes it can be the opposite. When you take away the consistency of school and a normal daily routine, your child may experience more stress or new challenges.
“For some teens who are prone to anxiety or depression, the lack of structure during the summer can even exacerbate moodiness and malaise.”
If there is nothing planned or no expectations, a kid can feel a little lost. Having some structure can provide a sense of being grounded and having some control. Beginning therapy can help your child feel productive and successful. They can set goals and start to plan for the new school year so that when they do start back to school they can transition back into that routine smoothly.
Starting therapy in the summer allows your kid a more relaxed pace and time to focus on building a therapeutic relationship with their therapist and setting some goals to work towards.
“A strong therapeutic relationship is key to successful therapy. Starting in the summer gives your child and their therapist time to build rapport and trust without the rush and pressure of the school year.”
(“Reasons It Is a Good Idea for a Child to Start Therapy in the Summer from St. Louis Therapists.” Marble Wellness. July 1, 2024. https://marblewellness.com/post/reasons-it-is-a-good-idea-for-a-child-to-start-therapy-in-the-summer-from-st-louis-therapists/)
By the time school is back in session, your child will have become comfortable with their therapist and can take any personal or new school-related issues to them without hesitation.
During the school year things can get a little chaotic with homework, projects, sports and other activities, and it’s hard to focus on starting something new right in the middle of all of those other things.
If you have determined there is a need for therapy you definitely want your child to be able to focus on doing the work that goes along with it. You don’t want them to feel overwhelmed by one more commitment which can cause them to go into it with a negative attitude.
If you are interested in having your child start therapy during the summer, or just have questions about whether therapy is right for them, contact us, we can help!
Sometimes it may feel like you are talking to a brick wall and your kids hear nothing you are saying. But you can rest assured that they are listening and they are always watching! So what are the things they are secretly watching that maybe …
Over functioning can happen in many areas of your life including in relationships, social settings or at work. But what is it exactly and how is it different from being high functioning? Let’s talk about some signs, causes and how to address it. People who …
It’s natural to feel responsible for things you’re not responsible for. Feeling like everything is on you can be exhausting and can lead to breaking you down physically and/or emotionally. Let’s talk about 3 things that you can let go of and remind yourself that you do not have to be responsible for in 2025.
We all want the people in our lives to be happy. It’s okay to want people to be happy, but to carry the weight of ensuring their happiness at all costs, will have a negative impact on you.
If you feel like it’s your job to keep someone happy, check in to see if that’s what they’re actually asking of you. And if they are, it may be time for a conversation to balance out the responsibility.
But what seems to happen more often is that we put this burden on ourselves. Making others happy may make you feel validated or liked; or maybe you don’t like conflict so you want people to be happy to keep the peace. No matter the reason, you go to great lengths to make sure people are happy, even if it means you are uncomfortable or have to do things that cause stress, or unhappiness, for yourself.
It’s not a bad thing to care about others and be concerned for their well-being. However, “the key is to examine your motivations and intentions. Don’t do things only because you fear rejection or want the approval of others. Keep doing good things, but on your own terms.”
Everyone experiences a variety of positive and negative emotions, it’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of. We don’t find ourselves apologizing for the positive ones, just the negative ones…why is that? If you wouldn’t say sorry for feeling happy, then why would you say sorry for feeling sad or upset? Those feelings are real and you shouldn’t feel like you have to apologize for them when they come up.
Apologizing for your feelings is not necessary. The only thing that could require an apology is how you handled an emotion. We discussed the habits of emotionally strong people in a previous blog; check it out to learn how to make an intentional choice to respond to your emotions in a healthy manner.
Most people fool themselves into believing that they can solve every problem in their life and the lives of their loved ones. Thinking this way can lead to unnecessary stress because when a problem can’t be solved, you feel like a failure. If there’s a problem and you can easily fix it or help to make it better, great! But you have to remember that sometimes there are things that are out of our control and we do not have the power to fix them.
You may put this pressure on yourself or others may put this pressure on you. Are you the go to person in your family or friend group that people look to when they have a problem that needs to be solved? If so, this may be flattering because it means they trust you and think you have the skills needed to fix things. But it can also be overwhelming if everyone looks to you to save them; or if you just think it’s your responsibility to save them.
“It’s okay to set boundaries, protect your energy, and let go of what isn’t yours to manage. Peace comes when we focus on what’s truly ours and release the rest.” (evolvecounselingaz. “20 Things that are Not Your Responsibility.” *Instagram, December 14, 2024, www.instagram.com/p/DDhkL7Ny2Rg/?igsh=ZGUzMzM3NWJiOQ%3D%3D)
Do what you can to help solve problems for others, or yourself, but accept the fact that you may not be able to always fix it and that’s okay.
Going into a new year is a chance to look at what behaviors and habits have served you well over the last year and what has caused you stress or held you back in some way. Letting go of the things that you do not have to be responsible for can lead to a happier, healthier year for you and those close to you. If you need support to assess and address your own behaviors and habits, contact us, we can help.
The holidays can be a time of reflection or a time when repeating patterns, stressors and emotions come to the surface. If any of these three things come up, that’s your sign that it’s a great time to go to therapy. Therapy is for people …
The holidays are approaching and it can be one of the most activating times of year. You already know you can’t control what Uncle Joe says at the Thanksgiving table or what your mom says about your partner or your parenting. So how can you …
Holidays can be a fun time, but they can also be stressful, not just for you, but for your kids!
Let’s talk about some ways you can support your kids during the holidays so that the stress is not overwhelming to them or you.
Things get kind of hectic during the holidays: there are events to attend, changes in routines, and people around that your kids may not typically see the rest of the year. Communicating with your kids about these things ahead of time will help ease any anxieties they may have.
One way to share information with them is by creating a calendar with the events and activities you have scheduled and hang it on the fridge, or another central location. This way they can look at it to see what’s coming up and be prepared. If you have younger kids who cannot read, you can use pictures instead of text (or a combination of both).
Talk to them about who may be at these events, how long they will last and your behavior expectations. For instance if it’s a fun, relaxed activity let them know they’ll get to dress in comfy clothes and it’s okay for them to run around and play. If it’s a serious event (like a church service), explain that they may have to dress up a little and remind them that the expectation is to sit still and be quiet.
Talk to them about who will be there so they are prepared. Will it be mostly adults? Will other kids be there? Will they know everyone there or will there be some people they don’t know?
Sometimes it’s not necessarily the event that stresses kids out but just the uncertainty about what it’s all about and getting there and realizing it’s much different than what they thought it would be. Ease that stress by giving them info up front in ways that are developmentally appropriate for them.
It is definitely hard to keep a consistent routine for your kids during the holidays. Whether you typically have a strict routine or a more relaxed one, more than likely you have some constants when it comes to how you do things and the times they are done.
It can be exciting for kids to get to break the routine a little during the holidays, like staying up late to watch a Christmas movie or getting to eat extra sweets or snacks. But if you go too far off of their regular routine it can really throw them off and create stress, which could lead to them not feeling well or to behavior problems.
Try not to be so rigid that you miss out on opportunities to have some fun as a family but remember that consistency and routines can be comforting to kids so keep some constants in your schedule.
As a parent you may feel like you have to do everything yourself which can lead to you not only feeling burnt out but also ignoring your kids, making them feel left out. Getting your kids involved can make them feel important because they get to be a part of what you are doing and spend time with you.
Depending on the ages of your kids, you can give them tasks to help out with like wrapping presents, decorating, helping in the kitchen, etc.
Our instinct is to just do these things ourselves because we know we can get them done quickly. Having your kids help out means it will more than likely take a little longer because you have to supervise them closely, but the time you get to spend together will produce memories that you may not have created if you had not let them help out.
Getting your kids involved can help you create traditions that they can look forward to every year. Completing certain tasks like decorating the tree or helping bake cookies will become associated with family time and fun memories. In turn, the opportunity to help out will help reduce their level of stress when the busyness of the holidays starts to kick in.
Also, this helps them build skills along the way that will help them in other areas of life, which raises their confidence.
If you see that your kids are getting extra cranky or acting out during the holiday season, take a step back and see how you can adjust your schedule or slow down and spend more time with them so they don’t feel stressed out or overwhelmed. Making sure your kids feel supported and enjoy the special moments during this time of the year is what’s most important.
Every year as summer comes to a close, we transition into fall and then immediately into the holiday season. It seems to happen pretty quickly and for some people it is exciting and they thrive on the energy and hustle and bustle but for others, …