Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
The struggles associated with perfectionism are usually hard for others to see and hard for the individual to admit. Perfectionists usually appear to have it all together, however, under the surface, there is an ongoing battle raging. People may think being a perfectionist is a …
Therapy is a great place to start to get support. Having someone who can help you evaluate, organize and cope with the struggles you and/or your family are facing can initiate necessary change and healing. And, at some point your therapist may determine that another …
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you are taking the first steps to begin therapy. You might be wondering if now is the right time to start therapy; or you may have already made the decision to move forward with therapy but are not sure how to find the right therapist for you.
It’s true that there are a lot of options and a lot of things to consider when you are finding a therapist.
Let’s look at 3 areas you can address to find the right therapist and achieve the results you desire.
We all go through hard times and it can be easy to chalk them up to normal life stressors; but when is it more than normal stress? We all have a threshold of distress and it is different for everyone. Your threshold may be higher than the threshold of your family and friends, and only you know when you have met it.
How will you know you met that threshold? Maybe your emotions are getting the best of you on a regular basis. Maybe you are turning to unhealthy coping skills such as drinking or overeating. Or maybe you always feel uncomfortable, find yourself in the same patterns or struggles with your loved ones and like you have nowhere else to turn.
These might be reasons to take that first step towards therapy. Talking with someone can help you deal with your emotions and find ways to manage stressors that work for you.
There are also times in your life that you will have to deal with major life events that can be overwhelming. These events might require extra support and guidance from a professional because you’ve never had to deal with similar situations.
The impact of major life events are sometimes beyond what your normal support system can help you through.
If you are looking for more information on beginning therapy you can check one of our previous posts HERE where we discussed when it’s time to go to therapy and how to get the most out of it.
There are directories online that you can use to search for a therapist like psychology.com and psychologytoday.com. These sites make it easy to search, filter and refine results based on your specific needs.
These directories can also tell you if the therapist accepts insurance or not. You may not have thought about whether or not you will be using your insurance for therapy but it’s important to research and consider all your options.
There are pros and cons to using your insurance for therapy so it’s important to consider them all and make the best decision for you. Let’s talk about a few things to consider.
A therapist who accepts insurance may be overwhelmed with referrals and it may take months to get an appointment. If it took you a while to take that first step towards therapy, waiting several months for an appointment may cause you to lose the momentum you built up to take that step.
A therapist who takes insurance may be a more affordable option for ongoing care but it still pays to ask what the charge will be if they don’t accept your insurance just in case your insurance changes.
In turn, you may be more likely to reach your goals if you are paying out of pocket because, as humans, we are more committed when we have invested something.
If you want to use your insurance you can do a search for a therapist in your area and cross reference with Psychology Today profile using the filters to search. You can also pick a few names from the list of therapists your insurance provides and search them on Google to see if they have a website.
It is not uncommon for therapists who primarily work with insurance not to have a website, so don’t be discouraged by that. However, it’s helpful to look and see if there is any additional information online so you can get a sense of fit so you are not just picking from a list of names.
Consider the level of investment, on all levels, and then move forward with finding a therapist that is a good match for you.
When you are searching for a therapist you want to look for one that aligns with your beliefs/philosophy on life, feels relatable to you and has experience helping people with the issue that prompted you to begin looking for a therapist.
Going to therapy can be intimidating because you will be talking about things that are uncomfortable to talk about. If you find someone that you feel comfortable with you will be more likely to open up about those things and get to the root of the issues you are facing. Your relationship with your therapist can play a big role in whether or not you see the results you desire.
Think about your preferences. Will you feel more comfortable with a male or a female? Do you want to work with someone who is older than you or are you okay with someone who is younger? Is it important to you that your therapist has certain religious beliefs? These are all things to consider when looking for a therapist.
If you are struggling with a specific issue you may want to search for a therapist that specializes in that area. Some may focus on anxiety or depression, or even a specific age group. This may help you narrow down your search and help you find the therapist that is right for you.
If you have questions about finding a therapist that is right for you, or you are ready to take the first step and begin therapy contact us and we will be happy to help!
In today’s society lots of activities, both business and pleasure, involve a screen. It’s important to understand the impact of too much screen time and to consider ways to manage it wisely. Did you know that looking at a screen all day can impact your …
As a parent, if you can teach your teen to master the basics then you will be setting them up to cope with the stressors of life in a healthy way. All parents want to prepare their children to be able to face challenging situations …
When clients are going through a difficult time, they often want to work through the stressors. Of course. However, I often redirect them to really focusing on the basics to create a stable platform from which to address what is happening. Creating that stability makes approaching any stressor much more effective.
You might feel like you have little control when you are in the middle of a trying time, however, these 5 basics are things that you can manage and focus on despite your circumstances. Redirecting your attention on what is in your locus of control, in and of itself, is helpful. All 5 of these basics have been proven to improve overall well-being.
Let’s take a look at each one.
Eating healthy foods is important. And, eating regularly is also right up there. This means that you don’t skip meals or continue to eat when you feel full. Doing either of these can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health.
Your body likes consistency and eating on a regular schedule helps establish that consistent routine that your body desires.
Skipping meals can cause your blood sugar to drop and when your blood sugar is low you may feel tired, irritable or depressed. Cutting out entire food groups can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health because it will be difficult to get all the essential nutrients that your body needs.
Food is essential for your body to function properly and when your body is not functioning properly, your mental health can follow. Focus on identifying healthy foods that feel good in your body and developing a regular eating habits.
Staying hydrated is important for many reasons. Dehydration can lead to poor concentration, inability to think clearly, depressed mood, tiredness and anxiety.
Your body is made up of about 60% water and your brain is made up of around 70% water. Knowing that your body and brain consists of a large amount of water helps you understand how important it is to stay hydrated because we need water to live.
When you don’t drink enough water your body signals to your brain that there is a problem and this can lead to heightened emotions like anxiety and nervousness.
Some common signs of dehydration include: changes in your skin, dry mouth, constipation, thirst, depression, sleeplessness, headaches, irritability, increased mental distress. It’s important to know these signs so that if they are present, you can focus on drinking more water to reestablish a sense of well being.
The amount of rest you get plays a role in how you feel both physically and mentally. If you don’t get enough rest you may start to feel irritable, depressed and/or anxious. Poor sleep habits can contribute to your ability to handle even minor stressors during the day.
A lot happens in your brain while you are sleeping, therefore, getting enough sleep facilitates proper brain function. Sleep problems can be a symptom of mental health disorders, such as depression, however, it’s also possible for lack of sleep to cause depression or other disorders. Therefore, developing a regular bedtime routine and healthy sleep habits are essential.
Staying active and moving your body has lots of health benefits. Regular exercise can reduce stress, improve concentration and help you sleep better at night.
You do not have to be a certain age or even at a certain fitness level to see the mental health benefits of regular movement. There are a variety of options for exercise and physical activity, therefore, you can choose an activity that you enjoy and do not have to stick to just one mode of exercise.
People who exercise tend to feel a sense of well-being and increased motivation. Physical activity is a great coping mechanism during challenging times because endorphins are released that increase a sense of well being.
Mindfulness is a term you may have heard a lot. Simply put, mindfulness is being aware of and focusing on the present moment and having an attitude that is open and accepting.
Mindfulness is a practice that can encourage new perspectives, which is important when dealing with a challenging period in your life. Mindfulness can help you manage strong emotions by focusing on your breathing, your body and your senses. Benefits may include reduced fear, anxiety and stress, as well as improved attention, concentration and memory.
Mindfulness is a technique that may take practice and that’s okay. Over time, as you establish this as one of the essential basics, you can determine the right amount of mindfulness meditation for you.
Need some resources on how to practice mindfulness? Try Mindful.org, Mayo Clinic and Positive Psychology. Or try one of these mindfulness apps from this list of 15.
Having basic routines and habits to dedicate your time and attention to can be a powerful coping mechanism that can be applied to a variety of circumstances and situations. Coming back to this baseline is essential and can cut down on spiraling into suffering and, worse, into declining mental health that can require the support of medication or put a strain on how well you are able to function in the important parts of your life.
Want to add some support to help you maintain a balanced baseline through a challenging moment? We would love to support you. Contact us.
It’s very common for parents to feel lost when it comes to dealing with the challenges of parenting a teen. If these challenges become too much for your teenager, and you feel you need additional support to help them, therapy may be a wise option. …
Making the decision to pursue therapy for your child Parenting is hard and it is even more challenging when your child is struggling and needs more support than you can provide. You may have gotten to this point because the feelings of frustration, worry and …
A few weeks ago, we talked about how important it is to consider the possibility that what other people do is not always about you. People are responding to you in accordance to their own past, their own assumptions and their own tendencies. This is helpful to consider because it helps with not taking things so personally.
Yes, other people can trigger a feeling or bring about a response from you This is because whatever other people do or don’t do is received through your own lens of your past experiences, assumptions and tendencies.
Here’s an interesting way to think about this: psychoanalyst Carl Jung proposed that all the people in our dreams, when we dream, are simply representations or aspects of our own self.
Now, think about that in terms of your waking life. People in your life bring about or activate different parts of you, which creates your response.
Let’s say you find yourself getting frustrated with your boss. Turns out, upon reflection, the way interactions feel with your boss actually feel a lot like interactions with your mother.
So, the way you react to your boss has more to do with you and your experiences. In essence, how you react has more to do with you than your boss. Your boss is simply triggering a dynamic or experience.
…you could say that experience is happening to bring up this dynamic in current life so you can learn from it, learn how to do things differently or get a new perspective on why interactions with your mom felt that way.
See how this makes for a different experience? Instead of getting overly focused on your boss and what they are doing or not doing, you can focus on what you can learn about yourself and your relationship with your mom.
Your irritation has to do with you and the fact that you are in a time crunch, not the person in front of you trying to look for an address.
See how these things can happen in the very simple and short interactions as well as in the more complex and ongoing interactions?
Realizing that releases you from blaming yourself or others. It also alleviates a lot of unnecessary emotional pain from thinking that other are responsible for how you feel and what you experience. That leaves other people holding the power, not you.
Don Miguel Ruiz has good reason for including “Don’t take anything personally” in his Four Agreements. What others do or don’t do is rarely personal. And, the way you respond or react has relatively little to do with others.
This comes up a lot. I get that it is confusing. How can an interaction between two people not be personal? Meaning, how can you not take what someone does or says personally??? Well, it FEELS personal. Of course. The things is, most of what …