Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
You started in therapy. That’s a huge step. A step that took thought, research, and time. Now, you may be asking, “Am I getting what I need from therapy?”. This will be an important question to ask yourself to make sure you are benefiting. Reasons …
Therapy is a great place to start to get support. Having someone who can help you evaluate, organize and cope with the struggles you and/or your family are facing can initiate necessary change and healing. And, at some point your therapist may determine that another …
Have you made the decision to begin therapy but not sure where to start?
Are you trying to determine if you need individual, couples or family therapy?
It’s okay if you answered yes to one or both of these questions!
At One Heart Counseling Center, we are here to guide you through the process of finding out what type of therapy will be most effective for you.
The first step is the most important one and that is getting in touch with us so we can get started.
One of the obvious answers to the question ‘what is the difference between individual, couples and therapy?’ is the people who are involved. But it goes a lot deeper than that so let’s break it down a little more.
Individual therapy is self-reflective and focuses more on personal development. You will spend time identifying and processing your emotions and behaviors and working to make positive changes in your life.
In couples therapy, the therapist will help you understand how you and your partner interact and determine ways to improve those interactions. Sometimes it might be a little more intense because you are dealing with the emotions and behaviors of two different people who are usually from different backgrounds and have different coping skills.
Family counseling can include all family members in a household or just a few, depending on the situation that led to initiating therapy. A family therapist can help resolve differences within the family, help build stronger relationships between you and help you learn how to function as a unit in a more positive way.
Once you determine which type of therapy is best for you (which we can help you with! Contact us Here), questions about the therapist may arise.
Having everyone in the family see the same therapist separately is usually not recommended. This is because the therapeutic relationship between a therapist and an individual is built on trust.
A family therapist creates the alliance and trust with the family as a whole, which includes each of its members, but is focused on the family.
In couples therapy the couple is the ‘client’ so the therapist acts in accordance with the priorities of the relationship.
Switching to a single member of the couple or family means the working relationship starts to develop with that individual. This can lead to problems in the working relationship with the family or the couple that interrupt the effectiveness of the work. It never seems like it will be a problem, but trust us, even if it is hard to foresee, it happens!
Consider this… the therapist says something that challenges you in a family session. Even if it isn’t the case, you might think the therapist is challenging you because they are biased by your family member that is seeing that therapist individually. That interrupts the effectiveness of the work. We know therapy is an investment and we want you to get the most out of it! So we don’t want to create any situation that could compromise your investment.
However, moving from individual work to couples or family work is not recommended unless there is a specific clinical reason. If it is then the transition should be processed and new expectations should be set.
A different challenge may arise when you have multiple kids seeing a therapist and those will need to be considered as well.
When you have more than one kid seeing a therapist it’s usually best for them to see different therapists. There are a variety of reasons for this.
They may be concerned about what their sibling has said to the therapist or they may be worried that the therapist is sharing things about them with their sibling. A therapist cannot share what individual clients say in sessions with other individual clients. And a therapist explains this, however, kids sometimes have a hard time getting their head around this!
Sibling rivalry is also very common and they may get caught up trying to win the therapist over so they are on their side and do not side with their sibling.
If conflicts do arise the therapist may have to stop seeing one of the siblings or transfer them to someone else. The child may not understand why that has to happen and may feel hurt by the change in treatment.
The benefit of working with the therapists at One Heart Counseling Center is that they know each other’s clinical work very well. If one of your family members needs to see another therapist, your therapist can recommend someone who would be a good fit for them.
The process for an additional family member starting therapy is relatively seamless. It also makes it easy for the therapists working with your family to work together and support your family as a whole.
Couples therapy can be so helpful to work through issues and learn positive ways to communicate with your partner. The couples who see the most impactful results are those who start sooner. Destigmatizing couple’s therapy and preparing for the process together can set you and …
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you are taking the first steps to begin therapy. You might be wondering if now is the right time to start therapy; or you may have already made the decision to move forward with therapy but are not sure …
Too much screen time is a common concern among parents and it’s a question that comes up frequently in therapy sessions. So we wanted to share some helpful information with you about it here.
Some common fears that parents have is that screen time will have a negative impact on their child’s cognitive and/or social development.
It’s very unlikely that your child can avoid screens altogether with remote learning and the use of Facetime or other video chat platforms to keep in touch with family and friends.
Therefore, learning to establish boundaries and place limits on screen time are important.
In our previous post ‘How Does Screen Time Affect Your Mental Health?’, we discussed how screen time affects adults. When it comes to screen time for kids there are some similarities as well as some additional considerations.
A parent’s choice to allow their children to have or use a device, whether it’s a phone, laptop, ipad, etc., is not something that can be judged from the outside. Each family has to make the best decisions for their family and their specific circumstances.
Some children only connect with their relatives through video chat or text and having an option to foster those relationships through technology is a positive thing.
However, childhood is a crucial time for brain and cognitive development and studies have shown that too much screen time can have a negative impact.
‘A recent study by the National Institutes of Health has shown that children spending approximately 2 hours on screens have lower thinking/reasoning power and language processing ability. Moreover, the study has found that the brain area (cortex) responsible for reasoning and critical thinking becomes thinner in children who spend more than 7 hours on screens.’ News-medical.net
A child learns a lot through their environment and surroundings, as well as by observing others. Excessive screen time can limit the learning that takes place during these interactions.
Screen time can be an addiction for both adults and kids, but kids usually have a harder time identifying it as an addiction and acknowledging that the addiction is a negative thing. Therefore, they may show more resistance when boundaries regarding screen time are put in place.
Screen time releases dopamine in the brain, which makes them feel good; so the more screen time your child has, the more time they will want.
It’s likely that screen time becomes more of a need than a choice or desire, because your child will crave that dopamine release.
As a parent one important thing you can do is set a good example with your own screen time.
Talk about the boundaries you have in place for yourself and show them how it looks to uphold those boundaries; kids are always watching.
Having conversations about screen time and being open with your children about it’s negative impacts (in an age appropriate way), can help them learn, from a young age, that it is an important thing to manage. That awareness and openness on the topic can make a big difference.
Educating your children on the negative impacts of too much screen time can be just as vital to their well-being as educating them on the negative impacts of other behaviors like poor eating habits and lack of physical activity.
If you would like guidance on how to calculate the amount of screen time for your child, an online search may yield varying opinions.
The American Academy of Pediatrics and World Health Organization recommend the following:
There are lots of apps and tools available to monitor your child’s online activity as well as set limits for their screen time. A few popular ones are Zift, Screen time, Unglue, Qustodio and Norton Family. Most of them have free and paid premium options. Parents.com gives detailed info on each of these apps HERE.
A good place to start when creating boundaries and limits for screen time is to assess the current amount of time your child spends online and what times during the day they are using their devices. You can then determine what they are doing with the rest of their time, whether it’s school work, sports, family time, etc. Knowing what their typical day looks like and how much time is spent on a device will help you determine what changes need to be made and how their new routine will look.
Creating a plan together as a family is a good way to explain to your child why screen time limits are important and to talk about expectations. You can discuss the boundaries and expectations together and listen to any concerns, questions or input from your child(ren). They are more likely to get on board with the plan if they feel that they have been a part of developing that plan and they do not feel like it is a punishment.
Consider that creating habits and routines in childhood will be helpful to them in adulthood.
Even if they reject it at first, they are likely to return to the familiar habits they learned as a child because, with age, they come to realize that they were important and helpful. So, while it is challenging, do your best to keep going! Putting in the work to teach your child the importance of screen time boundaries may be an important key to their well-being in the future.
What has been your biggest challenge in managing your child’s screen time? Need some support around this? We are happy to help, give us a call.
In today’s society lots of activities, both business and pleasure, involve a screen. It’s important to understand the impact of too much screen time and to consider ways to manage it wisely. Did you know that looking at a screen all day can impact your …
As a parent, if you can teach your teen to master the basics then you will be setting them up to cope with the stressors of life in a healthy way. All parents want to prepare their children to be able to face challenging situations …
When clients are going through a difficult time, they often want to work through the stressors. Of course. However, I often redirect them to really focusing on the basics to create a stable platform from which to address what is happening. Creating that stability makes approaching any stressor much more effective.
You might feel like you have little control when you are in the middle of a trying time, however, these 5 basics are things that you can manage and focus on despite your circumstances. Redirecting your attention on what is in your locus of control, in and of itself, is helpful. All 5 of these basics have been proven to improve overall well-being.
Let’s take a look at each one.
Eating healthy foods is important. And, eating regularly is also right up there. This means that you don’t skip meals or continue to eat when you feel full. Doing either of these can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health.
Your body likes consistency and eating on a regular schedule helps establish that consistent routine that your body desires.
Skipping meals can cause your blood sugar to drop and when your blood sugar is low you may feel tired, irritable or depressed. Cutting out entire food groups can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health because it will be difficult to get all the essential nutrients that your body needs.
Food is essential for your body to function properly and when your body is not functioning properly, your mental health can follow. Focus on identifying healthy foods that feel good in your body and developing a regular eating habits.
Staying hydrated is important for many reasons. Dehydration can lead to poor concentration, inability to think clearly, depressed mood, tiredness and anxiety.
Your body is made up of about 60% water and your brain is made up of around 70% water. Knowing that your body and brain consists of a large amount of water helps you understand how important it is to stay hydrated because we need water to live.
When you don’t drink enough water your body signals to your brain that there is a problem and this can lead to heightened emotions like anxiety and nervousness.
Some common signs of dehydration include: changes in your skin, dry mouth, constipation, thirst, depression, sleeplessness, headaches, irritability, increased mental distress. It’s important to know these signs so that if they are present, you can focus on drinking more water to reestablish a sense of well being.
The amount of rest you get plays a role in how you feel both physically and mentally. If you don’t get enough rest you may start to feel irritable, depressed and/or anxious. Poor sleep habits can contribute to your ability to handle even minor stressors during the day.
A lot happens in your brain while you are sleeping, therefore, getting enough sleep facilitates proper brain function. Sleep problems can be a symptom of mental health disorders, such as depression, however, it’s also possible for lack of sleep to cause depression or other disorders. Therefore, developing a regular bedtime routine and healthy sleep habits are essential.
Staying active and moving your body has lots of health benefits. Regular exercise can reduce stress, improve concentration and help you sleep better at night.
You do not have to be a certain age or even at a certain fitness level to see the mental health benefits of regular movement. There are a variety of options for exercise and physical activity, therefore, you can choose an activity that you enjoy and do not have to stick to just one mode of exercise.
People who exercise tend to feel a sense of well-being and increased motivation. Physical activity is a great coping mechanism during challenging times because endorphins are released that increase a sense of well being.
Mindfulness is a term you may have heard a lot. Simply put, mindfulness is being aware of and focusing on the present moment and having an attitude that is open and accepting.
Mindfulness is a practice that can encourage new perspectives, which is important when dealing with a challenging period in your life. Mindfulness can help you manage strong emotions by focusing on your breathing, your body and your senses. Benefits may include reduced fear, anxiety and stress, as well as improved attention, concentration and memory.
Mindfulness is a technique that may take practice and that’s okay. Over time, as you establish this as one of the essential basics, you can determine the right amount of mindfulness meditation for you.
Need some resources on how to practice mindfulness? Try Mindful.org, Mayo Clinic and Positive Psychology. Or try one of these mindfulness apps from this list of 15.
Having basic routines and habits to dedicate your time and attention to can be a powerful coping mechanism that can be applied to a variety of circumstances and situations. Coming back to this baseline is essential and can cut down on spiraling into suffering and, worse, into declining mental health that can require the support of medication or put a strain on how well you are able to function in the important parts of your life.
Want to add some support to help you maintain a balanced baseline through a challenging moment? We would love to support you. Contact us.
It’s very common for parents to feel lost when it comes to dealing with the challenges of parenting a teen. If these challenges become too much for your teenager, and you feel you need additional support to help them, therapy may be a wise option. …