Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
A couple of months ago, we wrote a post about the Top 5 Back to School Tips from One Heart Therapists. We thought it would be a good time to check back in about those! And to support you in starting to consider what your …
What if your spouse, loved one, best friend is not the bad guy? What if you aren’t either? Let’s be honest, sometimes it feels good that the other person is the “bad guy”. Then we get to be right, justified and safe. At the same …
You know when you are talking with someone and you can tell they are super passionate about what they do?
I knew about educational therapy before I met Stephanie, but I was never as interested in it as when she started sharing about her work. I could listen to her talk about it all day. Actually, we can all literally listen to her talk about it all day because she has a podcast called Learn Smarter with a fellow Ed Therapist, Rachel Kapp. That’s a great way to learn about educational therapy and how it could support you or your kids.
I immediately started to think of clients I have worked with who are earnest in their studies, but struggle in a massive uphill battle in school. Even if it is just around organization. Meaning, they get their work done, but can’t manage to turn it in. Or, they care about school, but seems like they can’t show what they know when they sit down to take a test. Or, they hate school but they are extremely bright and just learn differently so their academic performance does not match their ability. It’s discouraging to say the least and it doesn’t have to be this way!
My Ed Therapist’s website describes educational therapy as a way to offer “a wide range of intensive, individualized interventions designed to remediate learning problems”. Further, it “demystifies learning problems and stimulates clients’ awareness of their strengths so they can use those strengths to overcome or compensate for areas of weakness”.
My Ed Therapist offers client sessions, will support you in understanding your child’s academic needs, can offer guidance about how to navigate the IEP process and they have a drop in group session on Sunday nights for current clients to organize backpacks and assignments so your child or teen is all set for the week. Isn’t that awesome?
I know that my ability to be successful in my profession and continue to grow as a professional and as a human being hinge on my ability to access, capture and integrate information.
I wouldn’t be able to do what I do or be the person I am without having the power of knowing I can learn anything I want.
I was having a conversation at the gym this morning with my running coach about how there has been a change in the last decade related to what people are looking for when they come to therapy. Of course, people contact us when they are …
So, you know how to be empathetic, but why don’t you always practice it? Last week we shared a video on illustrating empathy. It is about connection and presence. Even though you know how to do that, you might not always handle situations with connection …
Whether you know a lot about empathy or not, this is worth the 3 minutes.
Brene Brown gets across such vital information in an accessible way with her humor and relatability.
This short cartoon is a great reminder or great way see how to build empathy into daily interactions.
Great for kid too!
The people in your life might not even register this information consciously, but they act on this information. I see how the quality of someone’s listening can open or close doors. I see how relationships flourish or disintegrate as a result of the how people …
We all use our phones for so many areas of our life, why not use it to support your emotional health and resilience? Here are our therapist’s current top recommendations: Mindfulness Everyone knows building mindfulness skills is essential to your emotional and mental health, just …
Maybe this is a term you’re familiar with when it comes to weddings. It’s what you see on movies when the bride (or groom) backs out at the last minute and runs away to a different life.
“Cold feet” is the term loosely used to describe last minute thoughts of “oh, I shouldn’t do this!” associated with feelings of anxiety.
Unfortunately, cold feet don’t just happen in rom-coms and weddings. It happens in therapy too! Most often prior to the initial session.
Maybe this is something you can relate to: you have taken the initiative to make the call, schedule your appointment, ignite a sense of hope that things will get better, and then… last minute cancel the session or just not show up.
“Whew!” you think… “I don’t really need therapy anyway.” “Sure it might have been helpful, but I’m sure I’ll be fine without it.”
In the following minutes to days you’ll likely come up with many of these different thoughts to justify not attending the appointment.
That still, small voice inside of you knows that you would benefit from therapy, and you’re wondering if you made a mistake to cancel.
You’re also confused about why you cancelled.
When you first thought about starting therapy, there was an event or situation in your life that urgently felt like it needed resolution. You did the best you could to fix the problem, only to feel defeated, frustrated and stuck when it only got worse.
This is when making that initial appointment for therapy came in. Yet, between that phone call and the appointment time, the crises passed. Although things are far from perfect, your teenage daughter has stopped screaming in your face and staying out all night, and you figure you must have just been overreacting to the situation in the first place.
You make an appointment to start therapy and feel strongly that you’ve made the right decision. Then in conversation with your friend over coffee, she nonchalantly comments about another friend who attends therapy. Her comments rattle you, and you second-guess yourself. “What if others start talking about me like I’m a nut case? What if so-and-so finds out and refuses to let our sons have play dates any longer? What if I really don’t need support, I’m just having a hard time right now but I’ll get through this? What if I’m just making it all up in my head?”
The fears of judgment, along with judging yourself, take over and you decide to skip the session and pretend like it never needed to happen in the first place.
Even after speaking with your potential therapist, learning about the fee and insurance policy, discussing the financial piece with your significant other or support system and determining you can afford to do this; you allow the cost to prevent you from even starting.
There’s no denying that feelings and money go hand-in-hand. Many (emotional) reasons could be underlying your decision to back out of therapy because of money. However, no matter what the feelings tied to finances are, know that you are worth more than any dollar amount.
Similar to the bride at the alter who runs away from her planned nuptials, it’s a good idea to understand the truth about the fears associated with starting therapy.
Like most new paths in life, a certain amount of trust is needed to embark on the therapy journey.
Why? Because it involves change, and change can be difficult and frightening. Change also takes time and effort.
It’s important to trust that initial intuitive thought or feeling that had you reach out for support in the first place. That’s your green light to knowing that change is necessary. It’s equally important to understand that changing in therapy is different than doing it on your own. While you might not have an immediate fire to put out, trust the instinct that let you know deep, foundational change supported by a professional other is needed.
Being the social creatures that we are, we need social connections and support. While certain stigmas do and will likely persist regarding psychotherapy and mental health, you need neither a diagnosis nor an excuse to be in therapy.
What is necessary is a letting go of judgment around it, and in it’s place an acceptance that every single one of us needs support. This can look like many different things at different times, and therapy is often a very wise place to start.
It does cost money. There are reasons for this. Like anything in our world, at it’s very basic level it’s an exchange for goods and services.
But it’s also much more than that. It’s a way of honoring yourself, your place in life and saying “you’re worth it.” Going to therapy, even just to try it out is saying, “I love you” to the core of ourselves.
If you’ve found yourself in any of the above situations, maybe even getting cold feet at the thought of calling to inquire about starting therapy, at the very least remember the cliché “it doesn’t hurt to try.”
*Written by Nikki Eby, M.A., MFT, ATR-BC, therapist on staff at One Heart Counseling Center**
Feelings as a source of information have been discounted for so long, we have some catching up to do! There are some pieces of feeling-related advice that have become commonplace like “listen to your heart”, which is progress. But what does that actually mean? Here …