Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
Aside from “how long does therapy take?”, which was discussed last week, another common question is “how often should I be seeing my therapist?” Again, it depends. So let’s talk about that. What follows applies to those who are coming in for individual, family, couples, …
“How long does therapy take?” is a common question that comes up on an initial phone call with someone looking to start therapy. So I wanted to take a minute to answer them in case you have that question too. So, how long does therapy …
Even if you are not a parent, this is helpful information because it helps you reflect on your experiences growing up, how it impacts your current lived experience and how you engage in your current relationships.
ONE: I love and trust Dan Seigel’s work.
TWO: I listened to this talk he gave recently as he is out promoting this new book and it is one of the best talks I have heard. You know how Brene Brown is such a charming storyteller and manages to get across sensitive and valuable psychological information across so easily? Dan Seigel is her male counterpart.
He gets across complex and super important information across in a relatable way that will stay with you for years. Plus, you are somehow entertained?
If you spend any time listening to podcasts or youtube videos while you do other things like drive or clean or any other mundane task, put this on your list of things to listen to this week. You will not be disappointed.
THREE: It’s incredibly hopeful.
Parenting and our past is so personal and sensitive. Everyone is doing their best. Chances are, you are doing some of things that Dan Seigel is talking about. And, he tells you why it works and is good for your kids.
You might also learn ways to level up or reinforce your efforts. You might learn a thing or two about yourself that could be transformational.
Not familiar with his work? Don’t worry. He gives you context and references other things he’s written in case you want to know more about something he mentions.
Not everyone is convinced that feelings are important. I get that. If you are one of those people who is not totally convinced that feelings are that big a deal, this is for you. I explain it this way often to my clients… How hard …
Julie Simon, MFT is an Los Angeles based therapist who works with people and their relationship with food. She has written When Food is Comfort and The Emotional Eaters Repair Manual. She also runs Overeating Recovery groups and has a 12 week program that can …
We all know there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to productivity. But do you act on the signals your body is giving you to take a break? It’s hard to do that, isn’t it?
While we all might ignore hunger, thirst or bathroom signals when we are busy, stopping to get those needs met seem more acceptable than stopping your to do list to rest.
I certainly grew up with lots of messages around the importance of being a productive and contributing citizen of the world. Did you?
I know my father did. We were talking about it last night after seeing psychologist and mindfulness teacher, Tara Brach, speak on her new book Radical Compassion. It was like a revelation for him, recalling messages he got from his own family (all with the very best intentions) growing up. He brought up a memory of his father taking him to skid row as a teenager, telling him that is where he would end up if he did not dedicate himself to his studies. I know my mother experienced those same messages around being productive. And, of course, so did I.
In fact, work ethic has been the main contributor to my sense of self worth. The fact that I love what I do and want to do what I do makes that easier, but overworking is something I have had to wrestle with my entire adult life. And, I have to continue to keep my eye on it.
Working around the clock (whether that is in your home or in your career) is seen as a badge of honor. How much you accomplish is certainly seen as a badge of honor.
If you are being the most productive person you know, are you also the most kind and connected to your loved ones? If you are being the most productive person you know, are you also the most healthy physically and mentally?
At the end of the day, what is actually most important to you? If it is other things (quality of connections/interactions, physical or mental well being, being present) over being the most productive, then it is good time to re-evaluate and find some space for yourself.
If you need some some science to ease you into that process of making peace with rest, read this short article about sleep and mental health (3 min).
When you are not getting enough rest or stuck in productivity mode, you are not in a level headed space. That means your experience of life and your internal world are much more chaotic when there may be nothing actually chaotic occurring.
That’s not good for your nervous system, which means it is not good for your overall physical, mental or emotional health.
Of course, everyone has a different set point of productivity that is right for their system. Not having enough productivity in your life can be anxiety producing and depressing. So, it’s important to find the balance that works for you.
Do you know your stress signals? These can be used to your advantage by supporting you in finding that balance. Read more on how to do that here and here.
As always, if you need help undoing some of this programing around productivity, we are happy to help. Contact us and we will connect you with a therapist that can offer that support.
A nap? Going to the ocean? Drinking tea? Reading?
**Disclaimer: One Heart Counseling Center is not affiliated with The Nap Ministry or any of its messaging. We just love their messages about reinforcing the importance of rest in and of itself.
Burnout is real. Not only is it miserable for you, it’s toxic for your health and your relationships. You know this already. What you might not know about is these four signs that are about real life. Be honest with yourself when you look at …
How many fulfilling conversations are you having in a day? I know life is busy and it’s easy to slip into auto pilot, so that might even be a hard question to answer. You and everyone else you are talking with in your life, from …
Life gets in the way. Schedules change. Maybe you were feeling better (that’s the point!), but now you need some support and you don’t want to have to start from the beginning.
It’s OK.
If you built up a relationship with your therapist (meaning they had a chance to connect with you, know about your background and what you were working on) your therapist remembers you. We can’t help but remember you.
People have to work in their own time, according to their own will and motivation to make progress. External and internal conditions contribute to these factors. And, really, the magic ingredient of therapy that moves the needle is your readiness and investment.
That doesn’t mean we won’t talk about the timing because there could always be helpful information there that will help you move forward. But we are never judging it.
This viral video was shared in a group recently and it stopped me in my tracks. Watch what he does in the first video (3 min) and then listen to what he says about that experience in the second video (4 min). And then I’ll …