Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
Therapy isn’t about fixing you because you’re not broken. You don’t need fixing, but you can benefit from holding yourself accountable, building trust and breaking patterns that hold you back. Let’s talk about how therapy can help you do this and lead to a healthier, …
It’s natural to feel responsible for things you’re not responsible for. Feeling like everything is on you can be exhausting and can lead to breaking you down physically and/or emotionally. Let’s talk about 3 things that you can let go of and remind yourself that …
The end of the year is usually a time of reflection. And there can be stress that comes up that highlights your growth over the course of the year. Here are 3 signs you’ve grown this year.
Sometimes we try to “fix” people or fix relationships because we just want everyone to be happy. There are situations where you can help resolve an issue so that a person can heal or a relationship can be salvaged. But putting the pressure on yourself to be the one who always saves the day can be exhausting and take a toll on your mental and emotional health. Realizing that some people do not want to change or that some situations cannot be changed, is a sign that you have developed the emotional maturity to accept things out of your control.
This is not to say that you should walk away from people when things get hard or you disagree with them. It is important to put in the effort for people that you care about and try to work through the things that cause discord among you. However, you also need to set boundaries and be willing to move on if those boundaries are not respected. Sometimes there are relationships that we just need to let go of, and that’s okay. It really does take an emotionally mature person to realize that. If that is something you have experienced this year and you chose to accept and move on, then you have definitely experienced growth.
We all like to think that we are in control of our thoughts and feelings, despite what we see on social media. However, the truth is we can all fall victim to the toxic comparison that it leads to. It takes a mature person to admit that what they consume online can have a direct effect on their mental state, and then to take a step back from it. If that was something you admitted and took action on over this past year, then you have definitely grown emotionally.
Maybe your screen time has decreased and you have reached out to friends and family more when you have a need or feel lonely, versus going to that site where you can see other people living their life. This means you are seeking true human connections and that is so much healthier for you mentally and emotionally. Being with and talking to people gives you something real to relate to, good and bad, not just the perfectly curated scenarios that are portrayed online. Doing this is a choice and it’s a positive one.
If you find that you are standing up for yourself more and you are no longer willing to be disrespected or devalued by others, then you have taken a big step towards growing emotionally. When you become in tune with your emotions you start to develop the confidence to advocate for yourself, which is a positive thing.
“The more aware you are of your feelings and the feelings of others, the more difficult it becomes to stay silent when something seems off.” (Cooks-Campbell, Allaya. “Speaking up for Yourself is Important – 11 Steps to Get it Right.” Bettup.com. May 20, 2021. www.betterup.com/blog/speaking-up-for-yourself)
If you have worked on yourself and thought about what you truly value in life, then you probably found that it is a little easier to speak up when someone says or does something that goes against what is important to you. This shows growth because not only have you have learned more about yourself, you have begun to take action when it’s important for you and others.
In a past blog we discussed emotional maturity and explained that a lot of it centers around being comfortable and secure with yourself. This can take time so you shouldn’t expect it to happen overnight.
If you have noticed some positive changes in how you handle stress, relationships or other challenges in your life over the past year, then you have grown emotionally and that’s something to be proud of. These signs are just a few common ones but there are definitely others. If there are areas of your life that you still struggle with and it is taking an emotional toll on you, contact us, we can help.
The holidays can be a time of reflection or a time when repeating patterns, stressors and emotions come to the surface. If any of these three things come up, that’s your sign that it’s a great time to go to therapy. Therapy is for people …
There can be tension during the holidays when you try to decide which family you’re going to spend time with each holiday. It can also be tough to be caught in the middle between your partner and your family. Here’s how to navigate boundaries during …
The holidays are approaching and it can be one of the most activating times of year. You already know you can’t control what Uncle Joe says at the Thanksgiving table or what your mom says about your partner or your parenting. So how can you preserve your emotional wellbeing during family gatherings?
We would all like to pretend that everything will be all rainbows and butterflies at the family holiday gathering but the truth is there will probably be some moments of tension or times when you disagree. It’s not realistic to think that a family member who has gotten under your skin in the past won’t do it again this year, so be prepared for it. Go in with a positive attitude but know that there may be uncomfortable moments, and that’s okay.
“It is normal for there to be disagreements, differences in opinions, and emotional fluctuations within family units and family gatherings. Spend some time preparing by mentally allowing for imperfections to arise.”
Think about how you will respond and be ready with a plan (how you’d like to respond, if you’re going to step away, etc) so you don’t react impulsively, fly off the handle and say something you will regret. We love our family but we don’t always see eye to eye, especially on some of the sensitive topics like politics, religion, etc. This holiday season may also bring some new tension because of the election. Decide before you arrive how you want to handle it if that topic comes up.
The only thing you can control is your reaction, you can’t control what other people say or do. The easiest solution is to make a statement (maybe a boundary, maybe an acknowledgement like “I know you have strong opinions/feelings about that”), change the topic or walk away.
When you are observing, you are learning instead of reacting, and this can be a good strategy to use during the holidays with the family. Don’t isolate yourself or refuse to interact, but take some time to take in the environment and check the “vibe” instead of jumping right in and feeding into any negativity.
People communicate and interact differently sometimes in big groups, so a family member who is typically one way with you alone, could act another way when others are around. That’s not always a bad thing but it’s something to think about and make sure you don’t get caught off guard by.
Hopefully you and your family feel comfortable around each other and can speak freely during conversations. This is good but sometimes it can lead to you letting your guard down and getting your feelings hurt when a family member expresses their thoughts and it stepped on your toes; or their honest opinions could make you angry if they don’t align with yours. Sometimes just listening and observing is a good idea so you don’t get caught up in a disagreement.
The information you gather by observing will help you understand yourself “oh, that’s why I get uncomfortable around this person or this topic” or “wow, I never realized how anxious my mom is and how that makes me anxious”. These are great insights to bring to therapy.
Go into your family gatherings knowing what your boundaries are and don’t be afraid to maintain them.
If there are topics you are not willing to discuss at the family gathering because they are triggering, then set a boundary. You don’t have to announce this to everyone when you arrive, but if it comes up be prepared to say, “I don’t want to talk about that” and then change the topic. If they push the issue, ask them to respect your wishes and if they don’t, then walk away.
A good boundary to have for yourself is to limit alcohol. Too much alcohol consumption can lead to poor judgment and then you may say or do things that you typically wouldn’t do. A lot of confrontations can be avoided if alcohol is removed from the equation. You may not be able to keep others from drinking too much but you can control how much you drink.
Time boundaries can also be important and helpful to maintain your well-being. If you have to leave at a certain time, don’t let your family guilt you into staying longer. If the gathering does become tense and you realize your emotional well-being is deteriorating, don’t force yourself to stay. Leave before you get to a point that the situation turns into a bad one.
Family time is awesome but it can also be stressful. If you prepare yourself and go into your family gatherings with a plan for how to take care of yourself and deal with any stress that arises, you can make the most of the time you have together.
When your college age kids come home for the holidays it’s a big adjustment. This is true for every family. Things are not as they were before. No matter if your college kid has had a great experience in the first months of school or …
It’s very common to hear stories about people with romantic infatuations but they are not always rooted in love. Instead of it being love, it could be limerence. But what is limerence and when would a person need to seek help for it? Let’s break …
You’ve just come home from the hospital with your new baby and you’re sleep deprived, not knowing which way is up and which way is down, if it’s day or night, if you’ve eaten or not eaten. Those first few days, weeks, and months even can be one of life’s biggest adjustments and changes.
Even with extensive support from friends and family, as new parents, it can be difficult to find your own rhythm and decide what works best for your and your family. In an age of mommy blogs, online support groups and chat rooms, you have a myriad of options to finding support and answers when you’re questioning what to do in this new phase of life. The amount of information out there however can be too much at times and not specific or personal to your specific needs or questions.
In contrast, you may find if you lack a circle of support from friends or family, the experience of becoming a new parent can be overwhelming in its isolation.
Here’s where thinking outside the box and considering in-home mental health support may be beneficial specifically for this phase of life.
One of the most significant advantages of in-home therapy is its convenience. New parents often have tight schedules and may struggle to find time for traditional therapy sessions in an office. Offices also may not be accommodating to the physical limitations that happen specifically in the first 6 weeks postpartum.
In-home therapy eliminates the need to travel, allowing you to access support in the comfort of your own home. This flexibility can be particularly beneficial if you’re also dealing with unpredictable sleep/wake schedules and the demands of caring for a newborn. If your baby wakes early or doesn’t go to sleep as planned, your therapist can be there with you and support you through that struggle.
Similarly this allows for feedings to take place during sessions as needed and for you to receive emotional support through feeding challenges if there are any. Parents and infants will feel more comfortable in their own home environment and it can ease some of the anxiety about being vulnerable and addressing concerns and challenges as a new parent.
Virtual sessions also offer the ease and convenience of not having to leave your home. This is a valuable and preferred method for many parents in a post pandemic world and can offer many of these same benefits of in-home therapy.
In-home therapists can offer guidance that is specifically tailored to your unique situation. Whether you’re dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety, relationship adjustments, or challenges establishing routines, an in-home therapist can provide strategies relevant to your particular needs and circumstances because they’re there getting the full picture.
A therapist visiting your home has the advantage of observing your family dynamics in the context where they unfold. For example if the baby starts crying mid-session, the therapist can support you with your approach to soothing or reducing any anxiety or stress you may experience in that moment by offering practical advice or validation. They can offer recommendations on everything from optimizing sleep routines to managing household stress, all based on real-life observations.
In-home therapists can often approach things more holistically. Meaning the therapists are considering not just your individual concerns, but how they fit into the broader family picture. The therapist can join you individually or as a couple or even with extended broader family members to creatively address and support adjustment so that there is better balance and support. This approach can help improve family harmony and how you all work towards adjusting to the new rhythm an infant brings to the family.
In-home therapy offers new parents a personalized, convenient, and holistic approach to navigating the complexities of parenthood. There are so many developmental and emotional milestones in those first few months not just for the new infant, but for parents too!
Having an in-home therapist, especially while parents may be on paternal leave from work or if they may be struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety can be incredibly transformative in the parenting experience. Investing in this support can help new parents build confidence, manage stress, and create a nurturing environment for both themselves and their newborn in the most crucial moments.
Our in house perinatal specialist Chelsea Derossi, MFT, ATR is a Certified Perinatal Mental Health Counselor. Please contact us and we’ll get you in touch with Chelsea to see if it’s a good fit and how she can best support you.
Most people have heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but a lot of people have never heard of Complex PTSD. The type and length of the trauma is generally what differentiates them. Let’s discuss some more specifics about what makes them different. With both …