This question comes up a lot. And for good reason. For parents, it can come up around whether to mandate that a child follow through with something like a sports commitment. For adults, it can come up around whether to stay at a demanding job or work through issues in friendships or relationships. Those...
It’s Past Time to Retire Phrases Like “Don’t Cry”
How many times have you been in a conversation with a well meaning loved one and you were told something like “don’t cry”, “don’t worry”, “at least xyz didn’t happen” or “you know what you should do….”? What happened next? Did you feel heard? Did you feel like sharing more? My guess is you...
Are You Getting the Most You Can Out of Therapy?
Therapy is not cheap. It requires resources. Both time and money, obviously. But in order for it to be as effective as possible, it requires your energy and attention. I think therapy can benefit most people, regardless of how well or how poorly life seems to be going. Increasingly, people are coming to therapy...
An Easy Way to Raise Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence
One of the foundations of emotional intelligence is being able to identify emotions. One way kids learn about how to talk about and handle emotions is from their parents, both directly and indirectly. How you handle emotions (yours and theirs) makes a significant impact. Yes, like literally being able to name a feeling. It...
The Other Side of “It’s Not Personal”
A few weeks ago, we talked about how important it is to consider the possibility that what other people do is not always about you. People are responding to you in accordance to their own past, their own assumptions and their own tendencies. This is helpful to consider because it helps with not taking...
Tips for Staying Motivated During Distance Learning with Anna Pirkl, MFT, ATR, LAADC
Our very own Anna Pirkl, MFT, ATR, LADAAC partnered with South Bay Families Connected and created this wonderful series of short videos to support you in staying motivated during distance learning. I know everyone can use some support in this area. I love how the videos are only a couple minutes (if that!) each....
How Is It “Not Personal” When There Is A Difficult Interaction Between Two People?
This comes up a lot. I get that it is confusing. How can an interaction between two people not be personal? Meaning, how can you not take what someone does or says personally??? Well, it FEELS personal. Of course. The things is, most of what people do is about them, not about you. In...
What’s Underneath the Cat and Mouse Game Present in Most Relationships?
The fear of intimacy. I know. Most people have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that people experience a fear of intimacy and a strong desire for it at the same time. What makes it even more crazy is fear that shows up in relationships and intimacy is often hidden from...
4 Ways to Approach and Deal with Uncomfortable Truths and Conversations
I have a lot to learn. And unlearn. I have been spending time this week listening, seeing and digging deep around the issues of racism, white supremacy, white fragility, what it means to practice being an ally and anti-racist. As I hope many people in the world have. The process is uncomfortable. AND IT...
5 Ways To Bring More Harmony To Your Relationship While Being Safer at Home
For most of us, life feels extra challenging right now. One of the ways we might be experiencing this heightened struggle is in our relationship with our domestic partner. This makes sense given the increased time spent around each other in close proximity. Little irritations and pet peeves have a way of becoming (or...