Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
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Have you made the decision to begin therapy but not sure where to start?
Are you trying to determine if you need individual, couples or family therapy?
It’s okay if you answered yes to one or both of these questions!
At One Heart Counseling Center, we are here to guide you through the process of finding out what type of therapy will be most effective for you.
The first step is the most important one and that is getting in touch with us so we can get started.
One of the obvious answers to the question ‘what is the difference between individual, couples and therapy?’ is the people who are involved. But it goes a lot deeper than that so let’s break it down a little more.
Individual therapy is self-reflective and focuses more on personal development. You will spend time identifying and processing your emotions and behaviors and working to make positive changes in your life.
In couples therapy, the therapist will help you understand how you and your partner interact and determine ways to improve those interactions. Sometimes it might be a little more intense because you are dealing with the emotions and behaviors of two different people who are usually from different backgrounds and have different coping skills.
Family counseling can include all family members in a household or just a few, depending on the situation that led to initiating therapy. A family therapist can help resolve differences within the family, help build stronger relationships between you and help you learn how to function as a unit in a more positive way.
Once you determine which type of therapy is best for you (which we can help you with! Contact us Here), questions about the therapist may arise.
Having everyone in the family see the same therapist separately is usually not recommended. This is because the therapeutic relationship between a therapist and an individual is built on trust.
A family therapist creates the alliance and trust with the family as a whole, which includes each of its members, but is focused on the family.
In couples therapy the couple is the ‘client’ so the therapist acts in accordance with the priorities of the relationship.
Switching to a single member of the couple or family means the working relationship starts to develop with that individual. This can lead to problems in the working relationship with the family or the couple that interrupt the effectiveness of the work. It never seems like it will be a problem, but trust us, even if it is hard to foresee, it happens!
Consider this… the therapist says something that challenges you in a family session. Even if it isn’t the case, you might think the therapist is challenging you because they are biased by your family member that is seeing that therapist individually. That interrupts the effectiveness of the work. We know therapy is an investment and we want you to get the most out of it! So we don’t want to create any situation that could compromise your investment.
However, moving from individual work to couples or family work is not recommended unless there is a specific clinical reason. If it is then the transition should be processed and new expectations should be set.
A different challenge may arise when you have multiple kids seeing a therapist and those will need to be considered as well.
When you have more than one kid seeing a therapist it’s usually best for them to see different therapists. There are a variety of reasons for this.
They may be concerned about what their sibling has said to the therapist or they may be worried that the therapist is sharing things about them with their sibling. A therapist cannot share what individual clients say in sessions with other individual clients. And a therapist explains this, however, kids sometimes have a hard time getting their head around this!
Sibling rivalry is also very common and they may get caught up trying to win the therapist over so they are on their side and do not side with their sibling.
If conflicts do arise the therapist may have to stop seeing one of the siblings or transfer them to someone else. The child may not understand why that has to happen and may feel hurt by the change in treatment.
The benefit of working with the therapists at One Heart Counseling Center is that they know each other’s clinical work very well. If one of your family members needs to see another therapist, your therapist can recommend someone who would be a good fit for them.
The process for an additional family member starting therapy is relatively seamless. It also makes it easy for the therapists working with your family to work together and support your family as a whole.
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In today’s society lots of activities, both business and pleasure, involve a screen. It’s important to understand the impact of too much screen time and to consider ways to manage it wisely.
Studies have shown that adults who watch TV or look at a computer for more than 6 hours per day are more likely to experience moderate to severe depression (healthline.com).
Depression can lead to loneliness and isolation and spending the majority of your day in front of a screen will likely prohibit you from connecting with real people and creating relationships, adding to the loneliness .
Screen time late in the evening can have negative effects on sleep habits as one study concludes, ‘the use of portable light-emitting devices immediately before bedtime has biological effects that may perpetuate sleep deficiency and disrupt circadian rhythms..’(Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences).
We know that getting adequate sleep each night is important to mental health and we talked about the importance of rest in a recent blog post. Have you checked out Which 5 Basics are Essential to Your Mental Health?
There’s no need to judge ourselves or others about screen time. For so many adults, screen time is something that can’t be avoided. Some jobs require that you work on a computer most of the day.
Also, not all screen time is bad. Keeping in touch with friends and family through social media or video chat is sometimes the only connection you may have with them, and those connections are important.
However, something to keep in mind is what this article on keepitusable.com explains about how social media can be addicting. It states, “Having your social connections reaffirmed makes you feel good. Social networks are physically addictive as well as psychologically. A study from Harvard University showed that self-disclosure online fires up a part of the brain that also lights up when taking an addictive substance, like cocaine.” So when we feel like we are being sucked in and that we need to check in online it may be because we are craving that high that we experience from being online.
The Netflix series ‘The Social Dilemma’ shows how the use of social media platforms is causing humans to interact with each other differently . It goes on to demonstrate how social media platforms are able to manipulate their users through constant notifications, engagement features such as the like button, and by sharing information that is targeted to specific groups.
Seeing these things and using these features encourage them to think and feel a certain way, and sometimes take action based on those feelings. So, feeling like you need to check your phone constantly is based on compelling chemical responses occurring in the body.
This is why it’s important to be mindful of being judgmental about screen time. It’s not all within your control, especially if you are not aware of the physiology behind those impulses. This is why building awareness is key.
Setting up boundaries and limits related to screen time is just as important for adults as it is for kids. There are apps and tools on your phone or other devices that are available to help you track your screen time and set limits for yourself.
iPhones give you a screen time report with the average time spent per day on your phone and how it compared to the previous week.
You can go into your settings and schedule downtime or set time limits for each app. Most Android devices also have this feature within their settings.
You can also use devices like an Apple watch or Fitbit that will remind you to move when you have been inactive for a period of time. Use these reminders to take a break from the screen.
Awareness and reminders are key to support you in beginning to wisely manage your screen time. Managing screen time is something you can do to support your overall well being.
There are a variety of ways you can set boundaries and limits for screen time. Here are a few ideas:
When setting boundaries and limits on screen time you will need to be intentional and goal directed.
If you are experiencing dissatisfaction, boredom, difficulty being present, difficulty concentrating or enjoying life, decreased personal interactions, trouble with relationships or poor sleep habits it may be directly related to the amount of time you spend in front of a screen.
It can help to identify what you are struggling with and then track how cutting back on your screen impacts those specific struggles. If you see positive results you will likely be encouraged to stick to your boundaries and limits on screen time.
Focusing on these three things can make all the difference:
Do you have trouble setting boundaries for yourself when it comes to screen time? If you need support with this Contact us, we would love to help!
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It’s very common for parents to feel lost when it comes to dealing with the challenges of parenting a teen. If these challenges become too much for your teenager, and you feel you need additional support to help them, therapy may be a wise option.
Parents usually have questions about what to expect when their teenager is in therapy because it is different from having a younger child in therapy. Let’s talk about that today so you will be prepared and know what questions to ask when you are looking for a therapist for your teen.
Therapy for your teenager will typically be more effective if they feel they can share information freely without input or the opinions of the adults in their life. If your teen feels comfortable, they might give their therapist consent to share specific details from their session with you. If not, the therapist will share some general observations from time to time to keep you apprised of how things are going in treatment.
Most important to the efficacy of treatment is your teenager’s ability to trust their therapist. That means your teenager’s therapist will focus on being transparent and not hold secrets. That can look like the therapist sharing about times when you have communicated with the therapist.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share information with your teen’s therapist. Sharing information is often helpful because you can trust that the therapist will address what you have shared in a therapeutic way. When you are looking for a therapist for your teen, it’s a good idea to find out how they present information from parents in their sessions. You may also want to find out how the therapist involves parents in sessions and how often they check in with parents.
When a safety issue arises the therapist will share information with you in the interest of maintaining your teenager’s safety. The therapist will talk with your teen the importance of getting their parent(s) involved when there is a safety issue to preserve trust and model boundaries. The therapist will explain why it is necessary to get parents involved and will support your teen in making a decision about how to best talk to you about the issue.
Prior to beginning therapy, it is helpful to have a conversation about your views on what constitutes a safety issue and understand where those lines are for the therapistl. This way both you and the therapist will be on the same page and prepared to work together if any safety issues surface during therapy.
Many parents struggle with taking a step back and allowing their teen the space they need to put in the work involved with therapy. This can be hard because you become accustomed to being very involved when they are younger.
Your teenager may experience difficulties or setbacks, but learning to navigate these challenges on their own is an important stage in their development. Selecting a therapist that both you and your teen trust should make the process a little easier because you can be confident that the therapist is available to be a wise sounding board for your teen, and you are not the only adult supporting them.
Focusing on your indirect involvement can be just as helpful, if not more helpful, than your direct involvement. This means you are assessing areas in your own life that may need to be adjusted and/or improved because they may be contributing to some of the concerns you have about your teen.
There may be things that your teen is doing that you disapprove of, yet you may be, unknowingly, doing similar things. If this is the case you could be indirectly insinuating that what they are doing is okay. This awareness can make a difference because it will not only help you make positive changes, but it can also bring about positive changes in your teen and your family as a whole.
It’s a good idea to have your own therapeutic support in place to ensure that your investment in therapy is beneficial and effective for both you and your teenager.
It’s not uncommon for your goals and your teen’s goals to differ when it comes to what should be addressed in therapy. If your goals are not aligned, that’s okay.
When your teen is starting therapy, having them get on board and engage is important, so it’s a good idea to prioritize their goals. Your teenager will be responsible for the work done in therapy and they will work harder on a goal that is important to them. The self-motivation created by focusing on their own goals first can be key when it comes to making progress in therapy. In a word, it can get the ball rolling.
Your teen will experience changes while in therapy and most likely, changes will trigger new feelings. Even if a positive change occurs, you or your teen may feel uncomfortable when dealing with the change. As a parent you can prepare yourself for this to ensure that you are supportive during this time.
Hopefully new patterns and routines will also begin to emerge and this can be unfamiliar and challenging as well. This should be expected and is not a cause for concern. It can be helpful to anticipate what changes may trigger these feelings. The changes and feelings that your teen, and your family, will experience during therapy are indicators that you are all moving towards a healthy place.
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