Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
Summer is in full swing and sleepovers can become a big topic for families. So let’s talk about some things to consider before sending your kid on a sleepover, what to consider if you don’t, or they have challenges around sleepovers. Sleepovers can be beneficial …
Your approach to your child’s therapy has a significant impact on the success of the outcome of your investment in therapy. Let’s talk about a few ways you can really amplify that investment and ways that you might inadvertently diminish the investment. Let’s start with …
As a parent, you are constantly having to make decisions about what is best for your child and what they need.
When it comes to certain behaviors and situations, the decision may not always be cut and dry, and your first thought about what they need may not be the right one.
If they are acting out, seeking negative attention, or looking for constant reassurance, you may need to address the underlying need for attention rather than focusing on discipline.
Let’s talk about the signs that can clue you in to that need for attention.
Throughout your child’s life they may go through periods of clinginess related to the developmental stage they are in; this is to be expected as they navigate the different stages of life. But sometimes clinginess can come from out of nowhere and not necessarily be related to the natural changes they are going through.
If they haven’t had enough quality connection time, they may cling to fill that need. Sometimes they may not feel like they have really been seen or heard by you, even if you have been near each other. Time with you fills their emotional tank and when it is running low, they look for ways to fill it back up, and clinging to you can achieve that.
Clinginess can also be a signal that they are feeling insecure, anxious or experiencing stress. Their increased need to be close to you may be their way of communicating this because they don’t know how to express those feelings. Emotional safety is found in the person they love and trust and that is what they are seeking.
If older children start behaving like they’re younger, it can be a sign that they feel overwhelmed. Some of the behaviors could include bedwetting, tantrums, and baby talk. Regression is usually a sign that there is something big and stressful going on in the child’s life and it’s too much for them to process with their normal coping skills.
Regression is common and it’s not surprising for kids to regress when they are adjusting to new situations like starting preschool or becoming an older sibling. Although it usually happens during the toddler and preschool years, it can happen to older kids too.
“Rest assured, regression is common. In fact, it is to be expected and it’s very helpful to further development – think of it as your child’s way of preparing themselves for taking on more responsibility.”
(Rich, Mandy. “Child regression: What it is and how you can support your little one.” Unicef. https://www.unicef.org/parenting/child-development/what-is-childhood-regression)
Continue reassuring your child so they know they are supported, be encouraging and attentive to their needs so they can get back on track.
If your child is asking the same questions over and over again, more than likely they know they answer, they are just trying to engage with you. If they can get you to keep answering their questions, then they are getting you to talk to them and you are giving them attention.
Receiving affirmation from you may be their way of addressing an unmet need they have. They may simply be lonely or bored, or they may be dealing with an underlying emotional challenge or stress.
Sometimes kids just want to feel valued and loved, and getting this interaction with you helps them to achieve that.
You can find more signs that your child needs connection instead of correction here in a post from Dr. Jazmine of @themompsychologist.
Kids don’t typically know how to say, “I need you,” so they act out or show it instead.
“Giving attention doesn’t mean meeting all of your child’s demands at every turn. Rather, it means engaging with them consistently and lovingly each day.”
(Munson, Joan. “Attention-Seeking Behavior in Young Children: Do’s and Don’ts for Parents.” Empowering Parents. https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/attention-seeking-behavior-in-young-children-dos-and-donts-for-parents/#google_vignette)
Some ideas for healthy attention can include reading a book, eating family meals together, one-on-one playtime, an engaging bedtime routine, participating in school activities or events together.
If a child’s misbehavior disappears when you give them some positive attention (playing, eye contact, asking about their day), that’s a strong clue they’re seeking connection, and that will be more helpful than correction.
If you would love guidance on knowing the difference between when your child needs connection and when they need discipline or boundaries, we’d love to support you with that. Contact us here. Every child is different and phases of their life will be different.
If the attention-seeking behaviors are severe, persistent, or interfering with your child’s development, you may want to consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.
If this is the case for you, contact us, we can help.
If your child is having consistent emotional, behavioral, or social challenges that interfere with their daily life, well-being, or development then it may be time to look into getting some professional help for them. As a concerned parent you will want to do some research …
I know it seems counter intuitive, but summer is actually the ideal time for your kids to start therapy. When you or your kids are experiencing the stress of school, you might feel the urgency to find a therapist to help with that stress. And …
The rise of platforms like Talkspace and BetterHelp bring up this question.
And it brings up the reason I started a private practice and decided never to be contracted with insurance companies.
SIDE NOTE: At One Heart Counseling Center, we do check your out of network benefits and will file insurance claims on your behalf so you don’t have to deal with figuring out how to submit claims on your own. So it feels like we take insurance if you get reimbursement for sessions through your PPO plan.
We are specifically an out of network practice because we feel the quality of your therapy matters now and later.
What I mean by that is: if you’re coming to therapy, it’s because of something REALLY important, your marriage, your relationship, your family, your quality of life, your child and we don’t want to waste your time or resources, we want to make sure you get the right help right now.
And, we also feel like it’s important for the future. Let’s say you go to therapy and it doesn’t help. Or you have a terrible experience. Obviously, it feels bad to try to get help and not get it, but the chances you’ll try therapy again are lower. That means the negative experience is reducing your (or your kids’ or your partners’) access to a valuable resource in the future. We take that really seriously. We talk about this with kids here and with teens here.
So, the quality of your experience and the help you get is really important. When you work with a therapist through an online platform, there are some factors that no one who isn’t a therapist knows about or will tell you about.
Obviously, it’s attractive that the therapy can be so convenient location wise (since it’s online), technology wise (as long as you feel comfortable with the tech!) and financially (because often they are contracted with insurance companies).
But there is no guarantee you will work with a therapist that is skilled and/or a match for you. Match? Yes, the match between you and your therapist doesn’t have to do with whether they have experience working with anxiety, let’s say. If you’ve been on dating apps, you know that someone can seem like such a match on paper and in photos and then you talk on the phone or meet for a date and it’s NOT. We talk more about the match here. At One Heart, when you reach out to us, I’ll match you with a therapist and you have a chat to see if it’s a match.. If it’s not, we want to help you find the right fit. We feel like that’s our responsibility to the profession. We care more about your experience in therapy for now and for the future than winning your business right now.
Here’s some other things about using your insurance and the online platforms that no one will tell you about:
One: Sometimes the requirements of the insurance companies (which we would have to comply with if we were contracted with insurance companies) interfere with your care. You might be wondering…wait? Insurance companies interfere with care? YES.
First, they require information about your treatment. And they use that information to determine what they’re going to pay for. That means they might limit sessions. So, you could be happily paying your co-pay and then all of the sudden they determine that you don’t meet criteria and now you’re stuck with paying out of pocket (a fee you didn’t budget or agree on when therapy started). Or you might have to switch therapists? Another therapist can totally help you, but the relatinoship with your current therapist can’t be transferred. After decades of doing this work, we’ve found that the relationship is actually the most important part in the effectiveness of therapy. Also, we simply don’t know how insurance companies do or will use that information.
TWO: the therapist or practice who is contracted with your insurance company has to spend time writing letters, doing paperwork, and getting on phone calls with your insurance company. And they need to see A LOT of clients to make a living. Which means the therapist that ends up sitting across from you or on a video call is most likely exhausted.
Finally, the credentialing required for a therapist to contract with insurance companies doesn’t require any kind of assessment of the quality of care that therapist provides. Just because a therapist is credentialed by an insurance company doesn’t mean they are good at their job. It means they can jump through paperwork hoops.
Given all of this, consider what’s most important to you. If you wouldn’t be able to see a therapist if it isn’t just the co-pay, go for the online platform. Just realize that if your therapist is exhausted or seems impatient… IT’S NOT because you’re boring or annoying. It’s because they’re helping a lot of people.
If you can pay out of pocket, but it would be nice to pay just a co-pay, consider this carefully. This is your quality of life, the quality of your relationships, the quality of your child’s life. How important is that to you? Invest accordingly. It will be more expensive per session, but it might be the place where it’s better to invest time in finding the right therapist. This will actually save you money, time, energy in the long run.
Sometimes it may feel like you are talking to a brick wall and your kids hear nothing you are saying. But you can rest assured that they are listening and they are always watching! So what are the things they are secretly watching that maybe …
If your kid is angry, more than likely there is something deeper going on. Anger is usually a reaction to other feelings, what you see may look like anger, but in reality, that emotion is secondary to what is really happening inside of them. So …
Before becoming a mother you can read all the books and spend months preparing for what you think it will be like, but there will always be things you cannot anticipate until you are in the middle of this new and exciting role. Let’s discuss a few things that I wish women knew before they become mothers.
When you are preparing to become a mother you expect that things will change in your life…of course they will, you will be responsible for another human being. However, sometimes new mothers don’t realize how much becoming a mother will change their actual identity.
Your identity can be changed emotionally, psychologically and socially. You will start to see yourself differently and you will begin to engage with the world differently. This happens as your priorities begin to shift. You begin to focus more on the needs of your child and that becomes more important than the things that used to be a priority to you. For example: your picture of being successful may have always been tied to meeting certain career goals, but after becoming a mother you may now view success as being a mom and your career is not as fulfilling as it once was.
“Matrescence, like adolescence, is the transformative process of becoming a mother. It changes you physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, financially, and spiritually. This becoming-a-mother journey takes years. We realize it is not just a journey of raising our child but also a personal transformation of raising ourselves.” (Fort, El. [mindfulhealingmama]. “Things that no one told me before I became a mother.” *Instagram, February 12, 2025, www.instagram.com/p/DF_1d74sS6q/?img_index=4&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==)
Some women report feeling like they lose themselves in motherhood and it consumes them; and some women feel like they have found themselves in motherhood and it brings them a sense of purpose. Both of these reactions to motherhood trigger a transition that you will need to nurture and work through.
There is a mental burden of remembering everything like doctor’s appointments, school forms, meal plans, and a physical burden of trying to be everywhere and take care of everything. This can feel overwhelming. It’s not a bad thing to admit that it is hard and you can’t do it alone.
If you are an independent person who is accustomed to tackling goals and getting them done on your own prior to becoming a mother, then you may think that you can do the same with all the responsibilities of motherhood. Thinking that in order to be a “good mother” you should do everything on your own is unrealistic and also unhealthy.
When a mother has support, and has time to engage in self-care, she is a better mother because she can show up as her best self. Without help, a mom can quickly become exhausted and burnt out which puts her under more stress and not only will she feel the effects, but her child will as well.
“Making time for yourself may feel indulgent or selfish, but that is far from the truth. Even small acts of self-care or self-kindness can go a long way in decreasing the feelings of exhaustion, burnout, stress and even depression that busy mothers often feel.” (Bowe.Kristen. “Self Care Tips for Moms.” Mayo Clinic Health System. August 10, 2021. www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/self-care-tips-for-moms)
Inviting your spouse, partner, friends and family to help out will also give them a chance to bond with your child and for your child to create connections with people that are close to you and your family.
If a child sees their mother ask for help and/or accepting help, it teaches them that it’s okay to seek support when they need it too. Setting this example for your children will benefit everyone in your family.
No one knows everything about motherhood from the very start, no matter how many books you read or how much advice you are given. Experience is how you figure out what is best for you and your child and you can always adjust and make changes in your parenting approach.
You may have been raised with certain beliefs or disciplinary tactics and after becoming a parent you may realize they aren’t the best fit for your family. You can learn about new approaches and implement what is best for you and your child.
Children change and so do adults. You will have to adjust and be flexible through all the stages of your child’s life to make sure you meet their needs. And you may even have to adjust your parenting styles or strategies within one of these stages. Nothing you do is set in stone and has to be done a certain way.
Don’t put pressure on yourself that you have to be perfect and get everything right. You will make mistakes, all parents do, but if you can learn from your mistakes and make adjustments that are right for your child, then you are on the right track.
When a woman becomes a mom it can be the most joyous time of her life and also the most stressful time of her life. You may think you are prepared for everything this mom role is going to throw at you but there will inevitably be things that you just didn’t expect. Parenting is a journey, not a destination, so give yourself grace and do what is best for you and your child, not what the world tells you that you need to do.
Over functioning can happen in many areas of your life including in relationships, social settings or at work. But what is it exactly and how is it different from being high functioning? Let’s talk about some signs, causes and how to address it. People who …