Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
When I first started practicing as a therapist, many people that reached out for therapy were in crisis. They were in dire need of help. We saw people in our practice who were dealing with intense depressive or anxiety symptoms, severe trauma, life crises and …
It is not uncommon for people to start playing the blame game when they first start therapy. It may include blame directed at our family or parents, or the blame may be directed at the past and outside circumstances. This is a normal response and …
When clients are going through a difficult time, they often want to work through the stressors. Of course. However, I often redirect them to really focusing on the basics to create a stable platform from which to address what is happening. Creating that stability makes approaching any stressor much more effective.
You might feel like you have little control when you are in the middle of a trying time, however, these 5 basics are things that you can manage and focus on despite your circumstances. Redirecting your attention on what is in your locus of control, in and of itself, is helpful. All 5 of these basics have been proven to improve overall well-being.
Let’s take a look at each one.
Eating healthy foods is important. And, eating regularly is also right up there. This means that you don’t skip meals or continue to eat when you feel full. Doing either of these can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health.
Your body likes consistency and eating on a regular schedule helps establish that consistent routine that your body desires.
Skipping meals can cause your blood sugar to drop and when your blood sugar is low you may feel tired, irritable or depressed. Cutting out entire food groups can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health because it will be difficult to get all the essential nutrients that your body needs.
Food is essential for your body to function properly and when your body is not functioning properly, your mental health can follow. Focus on identifying healthy foods that feel good in your body and developing a regular eating habits.
Staying hydrated is important for many reasons. Dehydration can lead to poor concentration, inability to think clearly, depressed mood, tiredness and anxiety.
Your body is made up of about 60% water and your brain is made up of around 70% water. Knowing that your body and brain consists of a large amount of water helps you understand how important it is to stay hydrated because we need water to live.
When you don’t drink enough water your body signals to your brain that there is a problem and this can lead to heightened emotions like anxiety and nervousness.
Some common signs of dehydration include: changes in your skin, dry mouth, constipation, thirst, depression, sleeplessness, headaches, irritability, increased mental distress. It’s important to know these signs so that if they are present, you can focus on drinking more water to reestablish a sense of well being.
The amount of rest you get plays a role in how you feel both physically and mentally. If you don’t get enough rest you may start to feel irritable, depressed and/or anxious. Poor sleep habits can contribute to your ability to handle even minor stressors during the day.
A lot happens in your brain while you are sleeping, therefore, getting enough sleep facilitates proper brain function. Sleep problems can be a symptom of mental health disorders, such as depression, however, it’s also possible for lack of sleep to cause depression or other disorders. Therefore, developing a regular bedtime routine and healthy sleep habits are essential.
Staying active and moving your body has lots of health benefits. Regular exercise can reduce stress, improve concentration and help you sleep better at night.
You do not have to be a certain age or even at a certain fitness level to see the mental health benefits of regular movement. There are a variety of options for exercise and physical activity, therefore, you can choose an activity that you enjoy and do not have to stick to just one mode of exercise.
People who exercise tend to feel a sense of well-being and increased motivation. Physical activity is a great coping mechanism during challenging times because endorphins are released that increase a sense of well being.
Mindfulness is a term you may have heard a lot. Simply put, mindfulness is being aware of and focusing on the present moment and having an attitude that is open and accepting.
Mindfulness is a practice that can encourage new perspectives, which is important when dealing with a challenging period in your life. Mindfulness can help you manage strong emotions by focusing on your breathing, your body and your senses. Benefits may include reduced fear, anxiety and stress, as well as improved attention, concentration and memory.
Mindfulness is a technique that may take practice and that’s okay. Over time, as you establish this as one of the essential basics, you can determine the right amount of mindfulness meditation for you.
Need some resources on how to practice mindfulness? Try Mindful.org, Mayo Clinic and Positive Psychology. Or try one of these mindfulness apps from this list of 15.
Having basic routines and habits to dedicate your time and attention to can be a powerful coping mechanism that can be applied to a variety of circumstances and situations. Coming back to this baseline is essential and can cut down on spiraling into suffering and, worse, into declining mental health that can require the support of medication or put a strain on how well you are able to function in the important parts of your life.
Want to add some support to help you maintain a balanced baseline through a challenging moment? We would love to support you. Contact us.
Until I trained as a therapist, I never intentionally paid attention to what happens in the process of communicating with someone. Communication just happened. As I learned what process vs content meant, I realized how much information is embedded in the actual process of communication. …
Aside from “how long does therapy take?”, which was discussed last week, another common question is “how often should I be seeing my therapist?” Again, it depends. So let’s talk about that. What follows applies to those who are coming in for individual, family, couples, …
So I wanted to take a minute to answer them in case you have that question too.
Like most things, the answer is “it depends”. But, I can tell you what factors come into play so you can get an idea for yourself and your own situation.
If you are coming to therapy because you are being proactive, you are probably not as concerned with this question.
One of the reasons you might start therapy proactively is to establish a working relationship with a therapist so you can get some support in looking at and improving some important aspects of your life. The other goal here is to have that relationship established and ready for when challenges do arise. You know this could be a long term relationship and it is an investment.
You might or might not go to therapy as frequently (I’ll talk about that next week), but it is an ongoing process to support your emotional and mental well being.
This is the same for children or adolescents. Sometimes parents will initiate therapy just to start a therapeutic relationship and get in some basic learning around emotional fluency and coping skills for their child or teen. Then their child or teen has a relationship with a therapist so they can access that relationship when developmental challenges come up around friend issues, academic stress, transition to adolescence or launching into adult life.
If you are starting therapy because there is a challenge coming up that you know really needs attention, I would expect at least six months.
The first part of therapy (4-6 weeks of weekly sessions), you are building trust with your therapist and your therapist is getting as full a picture as possible of what is going on. This cannot be skipped. Your therapist needs to know as much as possible to know how to best help you. AND you need to know that you trust your therapist. You are paying for their skill set that will support you in getting where you want to go. If you don’t have that trust, you will not be utilizing all they have to offer you.
From there, you are working on de-programming old beliefs, healing, developing insight into yourself, learning communication and coping skills and developing new habits and ways of dealing with things in your life that will support your growth so you can get through the challenge and be a better, healthier person.
I’ve seen people make it through challenges in as little as six months. Here’s the thing: these are people that are ready to take action on recommendations, who take notes either during session or right after to make sure they get as much as they can out of the time, who are willing to be open to reflections and humble to hard questions. They do the work in and outside of session. It’s the willingness that makes their sessions super effective (read more about that here).
Sometimes, when people make it through a challenge, they like to stay in therapy because they see how much they are able to get out of that support. The frequency of sessions might change over time depending on what is going on. Sometimes people will stop sessions due to the main goal for therapy being met and then they will just come back the next time something comes up. But the effort they put in not only helps them grow through their challenge, it builds their confidence in knowing that they can take on challenges successfully.
The same goes for older school age kids and adolescent clients: being open to and wanting to go to therapy makes a big difference in the process. See these posts here and here about kids and teens who are resistant to therapy.
If you are dealing with a crisis, meaning you are concerned about your own safety and daily functioning or your child’s, there are two distinct parts of your treatment. The first is stabilizing, the second is addressing the underlying dynamics and issues that brought things to a head.
People cannot sustain a crisis level situation for very long, but the work to address what created the crisis can take some time to unravel. There is a lot of variability in situations like this. Especially given that people can go in and out of a crisis state until they stabilize. The best thing to do is buckle up and be receptive to your therapist’s and your team’s (you might have a psychiatrist or multiple therapists working with different members of your family or school therapists working together) recommendations. That will be your fastest way through.
How much stress you have going on in your life does factor in to how long it will take to reach your goals in therapy.
If you have a number of stressors that take away from you being able to dedicate attention to your work in therapy, it might mean that you will need a little bit more time in therapy. That is not a bad thing.
If you have a high level of stress, therapy will address that so you can work to bring things to a more manageable level. This is a good thing for your overall health and well being.
If it is your child or teen who is in therapy, you want to take life circumstances into consideration: do they have a school transition (going to middle school or high school) or family transition (divorce, remarriage, move) going on? Is there a person in the family who is ill? Are there some difficult sibling dynamics? These things may add to the time it takes to make progress toward goals.
Do people in your life support you going to therapy? Are there people in your life you can share with about your experiences in therapy who can reinforce the work you are doing?
This can just be someone who asks “what did your therapist say about that” to help you bring back the perspective and guidance you received. Or this person might just be a great listener and someone who is safe to talk to in between sessions while you are working through your stuff. That kind of support helps your progress in therapy.
If your child is in therapy, if you are participating in sessions and help implement the skills your child is learning in daily life, that makes a HUGE difference.
Not everyone is convinced that feelings are important. I get that. If you are one of those people who is not totally convinced that feelings are that big a deal, this is for you. I explain it this way often to my clients… How hard …
We all know there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to productivity. But do you act on the signals your body is giving you to take a break? It’s hard to do that, isn’t it? While we all might ignore hunger, thirst …
Burnout is real. Not only is it miserable for you, it’s toxic for your health and your relationships. You know this already.
What you might not know about is these four signs that are about real life. Be honest with yourself when you look at this: 4 Signs of Stress and Burnout.
Why? Because it might be relieving to know that you are not just a jerk. And, realizing that you are stressed is the first key piece of information that indicates you need to focus on stress management.
Check out our post about how to use Stress to Your Advantage. And the one about how to figure out Your Stress Management Formula.
Get ahead of it. Jeopardizing your quality of life, your relationships and you health is just not worth it.
It is that time of year. So much is going on and coming up. And, that is natural. When overwhelm hits, it feels like you need to do all the things. What actually needs to happen is taking a step back. Not much good comes …