Working with human nature, not against it.
Gaslighting is a term that has been thrown around a lot on social media lately. But most people don’t really even know what it is or how it compares to other behaviors, so let’s clear things up a little bit. Let’s start by defining gaslighting. It is “psychological manipulation of a person, usually over...
How many times have you been in a conversation with a well meaning loved one and you were told something like “don’t cry”, “don’t worry”, “at least xyz didn’t happen” or “you know what you should do….”? What happened next? Did you feel heard? Did you feel like sharing more? My guess is you...
One of the foundations of emotional intelligence is being able to identify emotions. One way kids learn about how to talk about and handle emotions is from their parents, both directly and indirectly. How you handle emotions (yours and theirs) makes a significant impact. Yes, like literally being able to name a feeling. It...
There are so many reasons. And, so often we take it personally when someone doesn’t share. We think it means something about us. Well, sometimes that is true. Very often, it isn’t. We’ll talk about both sides. When it is not about you: There are so many factors that could contribute why someone is...
Until I trained as a therapist, I never intentionally paid attention to what happens in the process of communicating with someone. Communication just happened. As I learned what process vs content meant, I realized how much information is embedded in the actual process of communication. I spend time with clients in session often helping...
How many fulfilling conversations are you having in a day? I know life is busy and it’s easy to slip into auto pilot, so that might even be a hard question to answer. You and everyone else you are talking with in your life, from strangers to loved ones, fundamentally want one thing. To...
What if your spouse, loved one, best friend is not the bad guy? What if you aren’t either? Let’s be honest, sometimes it feels good that the other person is the “bad guy”. Then we get to be right, justified and safe. At the same time, we know that actually isn’t worth much in...
You know when you are talking with someone and you can tell they are super passionate about what they do? That’s my experience of Stephanie Pitts, Educational Therapist and owner of My Ed Therapist in Redondo Beach, CA. I knew about educational therapy before I met Stephanie, but I was never as interested in...
So, you know how to be empathetic, but why don’t you always practice it? Last week we shared a video on illustrating empathy. It is about connection and presence. Even though you know how to do that, you might not always handle situations with connection and presence. 3 Things that Get in the Way...
The people in your life might not even register this information consciously, but they act on this information. I see how the quality of someone’s listening can open or close doors. I see how relationships flourish or disintegrate as a result of the how people listen, reflect and are curious about one another. I...