Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
If your child is in therapy, you may think that all the work is happening when they are with their therapist. But emotions and behaviors are a result of their experiences across a variety of environments, involving multiple people. Therefore, it’s important that, when appropriate, …
If your child is having consistent emotional, behavioral, or social challenges that interfere with their daily life, well-being, or development then it may be time to look into getting some professional help for them. As a concerned parent you will want to do some research …
If your kid is angry, more than likely there is something deeper going on. Anger is usually a reaction to other feelings, what you see may look like anger, but in reality, that emotion is secondary to what is really happening inside of them. So it doesn’t mean that they are a bad kid or that you are a bad parent, it means they need help regulating the emotion or issue that is the root cause of the anger. Let’s talk about what that may be.
Emotions are hard to deal with sometimes, even for adults, and it takes time to learn how to manage them and appropriately express them. Kids can really struggle with strong emotions like fear, sadness and frustration (just to name a few) because they may not be able to identify them and share them with you. They don’t have the tools to work through those emotions yet, and that can lead to them coming out as anger.
It’s important to have conversations with your kids about different emotions and teach them healthy ways to cope with them. Show them positive techniques that can help them like taking deep breaths, counting, drawing, etc. Also encourage them to try to put their feelings into words and emphasize that they can always talk to you about how they are feeling.
“Being an emotionally intelligent parent means you see challenging behaviour as dysregulation driven by overwhelming emotions.” (Pinto, Stephanie [emotionally.intelligent.parent]. “An Angry Child.” *Instagram, January 4, 2025, www.instagram.com/p/DEZOykETw-n/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==)
If you know there is a situation coming up or currently happening that can create stress for them, like a move to a new home or new school, a new baby coming, or another big change in their life, prepare them ahead of time by talking to them about it and checking in with them to see how they are handling it.
Kids usually desire independence and want to do things themselves. Sometimes kids want to do things on their own that they are not ready for or able to do, and that is frustrating to them because they feel powerless. This can lead to anger within themselves because they can’t do something, or anger directed at you because they feel like you are not allowing them to do something.
It can be very frustrating to feel powerless and built up frustrations can fuel an angry outburst. They aren’t able to connect those feelings of frustration that come from having to depend on their parents or someone else, to the angry behaviors that surface; but there may be signs that clue you in to it. If they are having a hard time with something and they can’t seem to manage or control a situation without your help (like homework, tying their shoes, dealing with a social situation), their emotional and/or behavioral response may be anger.
Some children have trouble processing the information they receive from their senses. Hypersensitive kids can get overwhelmed easily, and as a result they may display behaviors that seem inappropriate for the situation, such as angry outbursts.
“Some children have trouble processing the information they are taking in through their senses. Things like too much noise, crowds and even “scratchy” clothes can make them anxious, uncomfortable, or overwhelmed.” (Lopes, Vasco & Shuldiner, Marc. “Angry Kids: Dealing with Explosive Behavior.” Childmind.org. March 17, 2025. www.childmind.org/article/angry-kids-dealing-with-explosive-behavior/)
Parents may notice as early as the toddler years, that their child has an unusual dislike of things like light or noise, or maybe their shoes or clothes. When a child has trouble processing things through their senses they can become overwhelmed and confused, which can lead to an angry outburst.
Understanding their sensitives and triggers is key, then you can help to reduce overstimulation. Helping them learn to self-regulate using strategies like breathing exercises can give them a positive way to cope, which will hopefully eliminate outbursts or tantrums.
It can be hard not to react to the actual anger or angry behavior that your child exhibits, but if you practice seeing the anger for what it really is you can redirect and support your kid. Focus on helping them name their emotions, teaching them calming strategies and modeling healthy ways to deal with anger.
Understand that you won’t respond perfectly every time, and that’s okay. If you need additional support to help your child deal with anger, contact us, we can help!
If you find yourself being long winded, can’t fit your written response into the allotted space, you use lots of parentheses when you write, you find the need to explain every no or if someone double texts or emails you because you didn’t respond… this …
Social media, whether we like it or not, has an impact on the therapy world. In therapy, we often educate our clients about mental health, family dynamics, and emotional wellness. We normalize and validate experiences to create a platform for the work you come to …
This is a big parenting technique that has been taught for decades about how to deal with tantrums and big feelings: just ignore them. And, if we’re being honest, it makes sense coming from a behavioral perspective – reinforce behaviors you want to see more of and ignore behaviors you want to see less of.
This strategy points to something very important which is your attention; as a parent, it is the most VALUABLE thing you can give your child. So, yes, you want to be intentional about how you give it.
Let’s take a second to consider how you can use that tool in the most efficient and productive way.
This is an important question because how you treat your child’s feelings is how they learn to treat their own feelings. In addition, it’s also how they learn to treat other people’s feelings.
Do you actually want to teach your child to ignore their feelings? Or, respond by punishing themselves for their feelings?
If your feelings were ignored or punished when you were growing up, it’s helpful to reflect on the impact this has on how you relate to your own emotions.
Do you see how that impacts how you relate to other people’s feelings?
If you were told not to cry, do you find yourself telling people not to worry or not to make a big deal out of things? Or judging people (even if you don’t tell them) for worrying or “making a big deal”?
None of this comes from an uncaring place. It’s just how we have been taught on a collective level.
The question is, now with more awareness, how would you like to teach your kids to deal with their feelings, knowing that when they are grown up they will have a relationship with their emotions and the emotions of others based on what you show them?
As a parent you want to address your kids’ emotions and use strategies that are helpful in the present; but also try to think ahead about how you are shaping healthy habits for them in adulthood.
Even by asking this question, it immediately highlights that we have some collective black and white thinking about how to respond to emotions.
A good place to start is: what do I think is a healthy way to respond to emotions?
Next, a good question to ask is: am I doing that with my emotions now and modeling that to my kids?
And, finally: how can I teach what I consider to be a healthy way of dealing with feelings to my child in the moments they are having a tantrum or big feelings.
If our kids regularly see us lose our temper then they will think that’s a normal and acceptable response when they get upset. Then when you try to redirect their tantrum or other negative behavior, what you are asking them to do will not line up with what they he seen you do; for a child that can be confusing.
“Provide positive consequences when your child behaves appropriately. Praise him for managing his feelings well and point out good behavior…”
“The goal is to teach him socially appropriate ways to deal with his big feelings. By teaching him healthier ways to express himself, you’re giving him a lesson to use throughout his life.” (verywellfamily.com | How to deal with Temper Tantrums; Amy Morin, LCSW | May 29, 2021)
Start teaching your children about emotions early so that they can get comfortable with them and know that they are a part of life. We recently discussed how you can instill emotional maturity in your kids, you can check that blog out HERE.
Everyone has different beliefs and values, so this post is about helping you clarify yours for yourself.
Teaching kids about emotions happens mostly through modeling. So, whatever you want to teach your child, model it, don’t just teach about it in the moment. They are always watching. Modeling your behavior comes more naturally than them having to remember the thing you taught them about feelings..
One way to slow things down and come into the moment is to reflect back to them: there are some big emotions right now and that’s OK. I’m here with you.
If your child is doing unsafe things to express emotion, simply focus words/actions/boundaries on being safe. Safety should be the priority and correcting the behavior can be the focus once the safety concern has been addressed.
If your child is old enough, debrief later, teach with a couple short sentences so they can integrate the experience and learn about how to be with emotion better next time. Sometimes talking about their emotions, outside of the emotional event, means they are more receptive to listening and accepting that their behavior was not the best choice of how to handle it.
As a parent your main goal is to have a healthy, happy child that goes on to be a happy, healthy adult. That happens through considering how your actions and reactions to behaviors now can affect how they cope and respond to the big feelings they will experience later in life.
“How long does therapy take?” is a common question that comes up on an initial phone call with someone looking to start therapy. So I wanted to take a minute to answer them in case you have that question too. So, how long does therapy …
There are lots of first phone calls that start with “my child [or teenager] needs therapy, but I don’t know what is going to work”. Some parents will say: “maybe I’m the one who needs help!”. Or they say: “we’ve tried therapy before, but it …