Working with human nature, not against it.
This comes up a lot. I get that it is confusing. How can an interaction between two people not be personal? Meaning, how can you not take what someone does or says personally??? Well, it FEELS personal. Of course. The things is, most of what people do is about them, not about you. In...
There are so many reasons. And, so often we take it personally when someone doesn’t share. We think it means something about us. Well, sometimes that is true. Very often, it isn’t. We’ll talk about both sides. When it is not about you: There are so many factors that could contribute why someone is...
Until I trained as a therapist, I never intentionally paid attention to what happens in the process of communicating with someone. Communication just happened. As I learned what process vs content meant, I realized how much information is embedded in the actual process of communication. I spend time with clients in session often helping...
The fear of intimacy. I know. Most people have a hard time wrapping their head around the fact that people experience a fear of intimacy and a strong desire for it at the same time. What makes it even more crazy is fear that shows up in relationships and intimacy is often hidden from...
I have a lot to learn. And unlearn. I have been spending time this week listening, seeing and digging deep around the issues of racism, white supremacy, white fragility, what it means to practice being an ally and anti-racist. As I hope many people in the world have. The process is uncomfortable. AND IT...
Even if you are not a parent, this is helpful information because it helps you reflect on your experiences growing up, how it impacts your current lived experience and how you engage in your current relationships. Dan Seigel and Tine Payne Bryson’s new book The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who...
Not everyone is convinced that feelings are important. I get that. If you are one of those people who is not totally convinced that feelings are that big a deal, this is for you. I explain it this way often to my clients… How hard is it for you to wash a dish? Usually...
We all know there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to productivity. But do you act on the signals your body is giving you to take a break? It’s hard to do that, isn’t it? While we all might ignore hunger, thirst or bathroom signals when we are busy, stopping to...
How many fulfilling conversations are you having in a day? I know life is busy and it’s easy to slip into auto pilot, so that might even be a hard question to answer. You and everyone else you are talking with in your life, from strangers to loved ones, fundamentally want one thing. To...
This viral video was shared in a group recently and it stopped me in my tracks. Watch what he does in the first video (3 min) and then listen to what he says about that experience in the second video (4 min). And then I’ll share about how this captures where we are going...