Therapy grounded in real inner work and genuine human connection.
It’s natural to feel responsible for things you’re not responsible for. Feeling like everything is on you can be exhausting and can lead to breaking you down physically and/or emotionally. Let’s talk about 3 things that you can let go of and remind yourself that …
The end of the year is usually a time of reflection. And there can be stress that comes up that highlights your growth over the course of the year. Here are 3 signs you’ve grown this year. Choosing to accept or move on Sometimes we …
The holidays can be a time of reflection or a time when repeating patterns, stressors and emotions come to the surface. If any of these three things come up, that’s your sign that it’s a great time to go to therapy. Therapy is for people who care about themselves and their relationships, who have a vision and goals. If you’re reading this, this is probably you.
Prolonged emotional distress can take a toll on you but you may not realize the effect it’s having on you until a major trigger occurs; and for a lot of people, the holidays can be that trigger.
Experiencing strong emotions like sadness, anger, or anxiety may not be a reason to go to therapy, but experiencing any of those strong emotions for a prolonged period of time can mean that it’s time to give therapy a try.
This distress may be going on longer than usual because you are repeating patterns or bad habits that lead to an emotional response. Falling into habits can be a coping mechanism because it’s easy to fall back into something that’s familiar, even when those familiar things create distress.
“Research has shown that what you’ve done before is a strong indicator of what you’ll do next. This means established habits are hard to break.” (“How to Break Bad Habits and Change Behaviors.” Heart.org. December 14, 2023. www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/mental-health-and-wellbeing/how-to-break-bad-habits-and-change-behaviors)
Therapy can help you identify new, positive behaviors that can replace the negative behaviors/patterns that are causing you emotional distress.
Stress can lead to behavioral and physical changes that interfere with your daily life. Always feeling on edge or having a short fuse with others can be a behavioral indicator that you are not effectively dealing with your stress. Everyone feels frustrated or even angry at times, but if you find yourself feeling this way on a regular basis and it causes you to lash out, then you need a positive outlet to address it.
Similarly, stress can manifest in a physical form and make you feel tired or even sick. “Your muscles tense up to protect themselves from injury when you’re stressed. They tend to release again once you relax, but if you’re constantly under stress, your muscles may not get the chance to relax. Tight muscles cause headaches, back and shoulder pain, and body aches.” (
Therapy can help you learn more about yourself, how you respond to stress and how you can use positive coping skills to minimize the behavioral and physical symptoms.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed and start to feel like you are losing the battle when it comes to managing your emotions. Whether the overwhelming feelings build gradually over time or begin as a result of a stressful or traumatic event, it can catch you off guard. Most of us tend to try to handle things on our own, because society has told us that we should be self-sufficient. But learning to recognize when something is too much to handle on your own, and reaching out for support is a positive step in the right direction, not something to be ashamed of.
It’s important to take the first step to begin therapy before you find yourself in a crisis situation. We discussed this in a previous blog and explained how developing a relationship with a therapist, establishing some baseline skills, and addressing issues before they have escalated to emergency status, are all key to being successful.
If you are repeating patterns, experiencing stress and overwhelmed with emotions, therapy may be the next step to take care of yourself and protect your relationships. Contact us, we are here to help guide you and help you get started.
There can be tension during the holidays when you try to decide which family you’re going to spend time with each holiday. It can also be tough to be caught in the middle between your partner and your family. Here’s how to navigate boundaries during …
The holidays are approaching and it can be one of the most activating times of year. You already know you can’t control what Uncle Joe says at the Thanksgiving table or what your mom says about your partner or your parenting. So how can you …
When your college age kids come home for the holidays it’s a big adjustment. This is true for every family. Things are not as they were before. No matter if your college kid has had a great experience in the first months of school or it’s been challenging, coming back home can create some tension and we want to help you navigate.
When you have a kid leave home to go off to college, it takes a lot of time to figure out a new normal for your family, whether they are your only child or you have other children that are still in the house. This new normal includes routines, schedules, and grocery shopping / preparing meals for less people. This can be stressful and emotional because it’s new and you miss them. But once you start to get in a routine of this “new normal” you start to feel more comfortable with how things are now.
When your college kid comes home for the holidays, even though you are thrilled to have them home and they are happy to be home, things can get tense because things are different now and there is yet another period of adjustment. You may expect them to just jump right into your new routines and that may be hard for them. They may come home expecting things to be just like they were but they aren’t, which means they may feel like they are a visitor.
As a parent you may expect their first visit back home to be filled with lots of family time to catch up and just be together. But the truth is it may not go down that way. Even though they missed you, they are probably exhausted and will want to spend a lot of time sleeping or alone in their room. It’s hard not to take that personally after counting down the days until they are back under your roof. However, this is probably the first time in months they have been able to really relax. Being back home where they feel comfortable and safe, not surrounded by their peers and bogged down with schoolwork, they can now just rest and recharge. If that’s what they need, try to be understanding.
In addition to catching up on rest they are probably going to want to spend time with friends from home. It may hurt your feelings if they choose to spend time with friends instead of family but remember, it’s not personal. Young adults need social time and it’s important for them to maintain those relationships they built in childhood. So if they come home and immediately go back out the door to meet up with friends, try not to give them a hard time. They still love you but they know you will be there and they can spend time with you before they go back to school, which means they may prioritize time with friends at the beginning of their visit.
Another thing that may cause some tension is learning that your kid has changed a little. After spending time out of the nest, being around people from different backgrounds and learning more about the world around them, they will probably have a different perspective on things and that can be difficult to accept as a parent.
“Don’t be surprised if your child seems slightly different — perhaps more independent and opinionated. Your tuition dollars are helping them discover themselves and the world. While hearing their arguments can sometimes be trying, it’s good that they are finding their voice and expressing their views.”
Parents know that their job is to prepare their kids to develop into their own person, but it can be shocking if you notice changes in them after only a couple months away. Resist the urge to challenge them or tell them they are wrong if they disagree with you on something. Remember they are still on a journey to grow and develop as an adult.
So with all these things in mind, how can you prepare for your college age kid’s holiday visit so that all of you enjoy your time together? Here’s 3 tips:
Before they come home, talk about what the plans are for family time, like family meals, activities, etc. so they know what times you would like for them to be present with everyone. Don’t plan a lot, keep it simple and leave time in the schedule for them to rest and see their friends.
Don’t decide in your head how they should act when they are home, meaning how excited they should be, how much they will want to share about school, etc. If you do this you will be disappointed if they don’t respond the way you envisioned they would.
Be supportive and make sure they feel like they belong but don’t try to control their every move when they are home. Try to be flexible and let them make decisions about how to spend their break.
Having your college kid come home for the holidays will be a challenge for them and for you in some ways. Try to soak it in and not let the tensions get the best of you. Everyone is learning to adjust and the most important thing is time together and letting them know you love and support them. If you need help working through these life changes, contact us, we are here to help!
It’s very common to hear stories about people with romantic infatuations but they are not always rooted in love. Instead of it being love, it could be limerence. But what is limerence and when would a person need to seek help for it? Let’s break …
You’ve just come home from the hospital with your new baby and you’re sleep deprived, not knowing which way is up and which way is down, if it’s day or night, if you’ve eaten or not eaten. Those first few days, weeks, and months even …
Most people have heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but a lot of people have never heard of Complex PTSD. The type and length of the trauma is generally what differentiates them. Let’s discuss some more specifics about what makes them different.
With both PTSD and CPTSD, it starts with a traumatic event, and a traumatic event can affect anyone. Typically PTSD is triggered by a single event. Examples can include a car accident, an isolated act of violence or a near death experience. CPTSD is from prolonged trauma or repeated traumatic events over months or years, such as those experienced by children who are abused over many years, prisoners of war or emergency service workers. Since the experiences have happened more frequently and over a longer period of time, it is usually more severe.
Typical symptoms of PTSD are flashbacks, nightmares, changes in mood, and avoidance of things that may be a reminder of the trauma.
“CPTSD symptoms encompass those of PTSD and extend to include disturbances in self-identity, difficulties with emotional regulation, and challenges in forming and maintaining relationships.”
(Eshaghian, Maythal [mindful_psyche]. “CPTSD vs. PTSD.” *Instagram, April 16, 2024, https://www.instagram.com/p/C51JSv-PxIf/?igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA%3D%3D)
Those experiencing CPTSD may have negative feelings about themselves due to shame or guilt that is associated with what they have been through. They may feel like they are different from other people or they cannot relate to others. It’s not uncommon for them to lose hope. These symptoms contribute to the major difference between CPTSD and PTSD which is the impact on relationships and in daily functioning.
It may take years for the symptoms of CPTSD to start becoming evident which is different than PTSD, as those symptoms usually begin shortly after the traumatic event.
PTSD is a recognized mental health diagnosis, however, CPTSD is not recognized as a diagnosis as it is relatively new. There is no specific test to differentiate between the two, so doctors or therapists may just make the diagnosis of PTSD. Tracking symptoms by writing them down and then discussing with a mental health professional, can be a way to determine if it is complex PTSD.
“Many mental health professionals do recognize C-PTSD as a separate condition, because the traditional symptoms of PTSD do not fully capture some of the unique characteristics shown in people who experienced repeat trauma.”
(Tull, Matthew. “How Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) Differs from PTSD.” Very Well Mind. May 21, 2024. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-complex-ptsd-2797491)
Similar strategies can be used to treat both, including medications and psychotherapy. Additional therapies or interventions can be explored to help with CPTSD.
School has started back up and despite this being the same old routine, you still find yourself frustrated and upset with the morning routine… Where are your kid’s shoes? Where is their homework? Why are you feeling rushed and irritated yet again? Is your …